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They say if you can make it here, you can make it anywhere.

8. Overweight men deserve a chance to be loved for every facet of their personality and life, but no fatties for me.

Too many religious communities, the one in which I grew up included, prize–more than service to and advocacy for the oppressed–pre-marital virginity. To “lose your virginity” before your wedding day is to relegate yourself to the margins of the congregation–shame and self-loathing your near-constant companions.

Why do you ask me questions that you could ask Google?

I could probably make this entire list David Sedaris. But I didn’t because I have restraint.

I smiled at him and I hoped it was the kind of smile that informed a stranger that you cared for them even if you did not know them.

“Here’s looking at you, kid.”

Take the day off of work, & get uproariously drunk during normal business hours. If you leave home, do not operate heavy machinery to reach your next destination.

From Julio Cortázar to Virginia Woolf to Luna Miguel and Andy Warhol, these are authors and books I love.

Don’t pay any attention to what they write about you. Just measure it in inches.

Here are some reasons April is the best month to have your birthday.

Love is not the answer.