Rachel Hodin

Spring is officially upon us. Time to kiss that freezing abyss we like to call winter goodbye.

It sounds easy enough when you’ve been awake for only three and a half hours; when it’s still a “new day,” in which anything is still “possible.” But it’s important to remind yourself that, above all else, you’re still half asleep and, by extension, not to be trusted.

7. Designer-inspired does not a designer make.

Before Kathie’s disappeared, “she had told me that Bobby was taking Primal Scream Therapy, and he growled. I never heard him do it, but Kathie would say to me when she was on the phone, ‘He’s doing it now, can you hear him? He’s growling now.’”

Whereas 50 Cent once said, in all his braggadocio, that we could find him in the club, I can now say with full certainty that, more times than not, you can find me in the tub.

It’s not like a new hair color; you can’t adopt it in a day. Most well-decorated lobes have been tended to since birth.

Black turtlenecks. The source from which Archer gathers strength not just for his covert spy missions, but for his love life too.

1. The I-don’t-have-a-boyfriend jean.