Lorenzo Jensen III

“People say, ‘Are you just acting?’ Well, you can’t act when you’ve got a fist up your butt.”

1. I don’t think women are better than men, I think men are a lot worse than women. —Louis C. K. 2. Once made equal to man, woman becomes his superior. —Socrates 3.

“A nightmare has taken hold of my body. Lunacy has dug its way inside my mind.”

“Vaginas, vaginas, vaginas, vaginas, vaginas, vaginas, vaginas, and then maybe the occasional penis if I’m drunk enough.”

“No woman can call herself free who does not control her own body.”
—Margaret Sanger

“Saying that there are too many children is like saying there are too many flowers.” —Mother Teresa

For evidence that most major world religions were invented by men for men, look no further than how they approach menstruation.

1. It’s a biological fact that menstruating makes you less attractive to men.

“I wanna write ‘I miss you’ on a rock and throw at your face so you know how much it hurts to miss you.”

“Let me tell you, I’m a really smart guy.”

“Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go.” —Hermann Hesse

1. I stuck it down the wrong hole.

“The first stab of love is like a sunset, a blaze of color—oranges, pearly pinks, vibrant purples…”

Forget about the Briggs-Myers test; the best way to gauge someone’s personality is through whether they prefer dogs or cats.

1. Men get fat on the belly, women on the ass and thighs.

1. Women are the only ones in their right minds.

“Women lie about their age; men lie about their income.”

“The main difference between men and women is that men are lunatics and women are idiots.”