And I think I’m jealous of those people. In fact, I know I am.
This is known variously as the “yogasm,” the “coregasm,” and the “iwishthiswouldhappentomegasm.”
OK, so it’s only 2-3 calories, so you’ll have to cum about 100 times for every donut you eat.
This is a much higher quotient than women who can achieve it through vaginal penetration, so maybe it’s time guys considered becoming a “back door man.”
Researchers speculate that this is because during orgasm, a woman’s feet curl to roughly the same shape as when she’s wearing high heels, so if she’s already wearing them, this diminishes her pleasure.
But it’s probably wise not to tell their children if they did.
The so-called “orgasm gap” refers to one study where 85% of men said they thought their female partner came, while only 64% of those women say they actually did.
But only for about 8-10 minutes, at which it’s time to have another orgasm or pop another Percocet.
People in the throes of sexual ecstasy often look like they’re in pain because orgasm activates the same brain regions that pain activates. Either that, or their partner accidentally kneed them in the groin while they were cumming.
A study in the British Medical Journal reports that men between the ages of 45-59 who have fewer than two orgasms a week are twice as likely to die than men who are wantonly squirting their filthy juices all over the place.
One study found that over a third of women reported that at least once in their lives, they’d had orgasms while asleep.
One Danish study revealed that when men have an orgasm, it lights up the same brain centers that get let when heroin users shoot up. No wonder so many men become sex addicts.
According to a University of Kansas study of male college students, over a quarter of them confessed to faking orgasm at least once. Many said it was because they were too drunk to cum; others said they were merely tired and wanted to get some sleep.
And you never let us hear the end of it, especially if you’re naturally loud in the sack.
And it is to be assumed that their partners are not men over age 80.
Fellas, if your Body Mass Index is over 30, it is highly likely that the amount of your ejaculate will be only half as much as those of us who take care of ourselves and have bitchin’ abs.
On average, men require between two and ten minutes before they shoot their wad and start snoring. Women take twenty minutes on average to cum, which presumably happens after that selfish asshole is already snoring.
Guys, you need to do more than stick it, shoot it, and start snoring. You need to kiss her. Rub her nipples. Gently lick her. Tell her you love her whether it’s true or not. Her sexuality is far more complicated than your own, which is roughly as complicated as that of a brain-dead reptile.
This is a national crisis greater than poverty, terrorism, and the Kardashians combined.
I’m not saying anything about your partner, it’s just that the brain areas that are attuned to fear and danger shut down temporarily directly subsequent to an orgasm, making you more vulnerable to a criminal assault.
21. A woman’s orgasmic contractions pulsate in opposite directions depending on her menstrual cycle.
During menstruation, a woman’s orgasmic contractions push outward to push all “waste,” including male sperm, out of her body. During ovulation, the contractions have an inward motion in order to suck sperm upward toward her uterus.
In a stroke of cruel genius, God placed it about two inches up their butts.
Researchers have determined that whose who are legally brain-dead but whose hearts are still beating are able to achieve sexual climax when given proper stimulation. This is known as the “Lazarus reflex,” which is more than I already needed to know.