20. He sexually assaulted me. He forced me to take off my bra and then pegged me underneath him on the couch.
“He was my best friend since the age of like 4 or 5 (same age) and practically family. I had a shitty adolescent time, drank too much way too young and hung out with bad people, I lost almost all of my friends except this guy who stuck by me through thick and thin. Called me to check on me, always invited me to game nights, told me I was okay, made me feel alright again. He never pressured me to do anything with him, nothing like that at all even though there were plenty of other guys who did. We’d talk on the phone several times a week until the end and I was adamant we were only friends—he was fine with this and was dating and all of that. Cue a few years ago.
I had a mental breakdown one night and he came over to help me out but started acting weird. Wanted me to cuddle in bed next to him to feel “closer to each other” (he had a steady girlfriend and I’m not okay with this either way) and gets upset about it, all while I’m crying and shaking uncontrollably on the couch.
We have a weird relationship for a few months where I’m not comfortable seeing him anymore but we still talk. One night I decided to invite him over to watch a movie like old times.
He sexually assaulted me. He forced me to take off my bra and then pegged me underneath him on the couch. Did it matter that I said no, and did he care? No, he deserved it and he had been a nice guy, a friend, for so long. I said a loud no and it didn’t matter, he wanted to do it again sometime, maybe regularly if I didn’t mind.
I haven’t talked to him or you in years. I’ll never forgive you.”
21. He lost it. He began insulting me, telling me I led him on.
“I was 16 and quite lonely so I posted something on Tumblr so people would message me. I added a 26 y/o guy from NY (I am from Switzerland, so time zones are different). In my mind it was clear and it seemed obvious that I didn’t want anything romantic as we had 10 years of difference and I TOLD him that I only wanted a friend.
Well, after messaging for a while he told me he had to go to sleep and made me promise to continue to talk to him once he woke up. Weird but whatever I thought. Few hours later he messaged me and talked about how he wanted me to be his girlfriend and so on. I told him again that I was only looking for a friend.
He lost it. He began insulting me, telling me I led him on (even though I told him I was only looking for a friend when we first talked). I ended up having to block him because I couldn’t get him to calm down or to understand that I didn’t want to talk to him anymore.
I never made another post to meet new people online after that.”
22. He flat-out screamed at me ‘FUCK YOU! You’re just a cold bitch! I bet your boyfriend’s an asshole anyway!!!’
“I was friends with this guy for a couple years but was never interested in dating him. I was fairly certain he was aware of that, and since he never said or did anything that seemed to me like he was interested in me either, I assumed we were legitimately friends. He never asked me out, he never made any comment even suggesting he wanted anything more. We were fairly close and had a lot of mutual friends. I never thought anything else was going on.
Apparently, this was not the case. A couple days after I got a new boyfriend, I update my relationship status on Facebook. My ‘friend’ calls me within like…2 minutes of this update, and immediately starts shouting at me, demanding to know why he ‘wasn’t good enough for me’ and why my boyfriend ‘was so much better than him.’ I tried to get him to calm down, but he just kept yelling about how he was a ‘nice guy’ and how he had ‘always been so nice to me, why didn’t I ever give him a chance?’ I calmly tried to explain to him that I never got any signals from him, and I didn’t think I ever did anything to lead him on or anything, and he shouted that ‘he’s such a nice guy and doesn’t deserve to be friend-zoned like this.’
I made one final attempt to salvage the conversation and tried to explain that I was sorry if he felt deceived, but it also really hurt my feelings that I thought he legitimately valued me as a person and wanted to be my friend, but now he’s just mad I won’t sleep with him. He flat-out screamed at me ‘FUCK YOU! You’re just a cold bitch! I bet your boyfriend’s an asshole anyway!!!’
I hung up on him and he never spoke to me again. Two years of relatively close friendship down the drain in one phone call. It felt pretty shitty.”