‘Nice Guys’ From Hell: 49 Women Share Nightmare Stories From The Friend Zone

17. He seemed weird but nice at first, but then he would talk about murdering people.

“When I was younger there was this kid that no one would talk to, so I decided to be a nice person and be his friend. He seemed weird but nice at first, but then he would talk about murdering people, stories about celebrity women getting raped and liking it (all false, I even Googled it to give him the benefit of the doubt). He would switch between talking about how it’d be so nice to have me take his last name and threatening to rape and murder me. Eventually it went too far and he chased me into the road after he was not allowed back in the school for harassing me. I nearly got hit by a car but I literally ran into the side of my mom’s car before I could be seriously hurt.”


18. Upon politely declining, I was subjected to every sexual slur you could think of whilst being told what an idiot I am for passing up such a stand-up guy.

“I’m paranoid about leading people on. I’m petite with large breasts and doe eyes so I seem to give the ‘young exploitable anime girl’ vibe.
I hung out with a guy (we watched Mighty Boosh and chatted). Before he came over I literally said ‘I am not looking for a relationship. Please don’t ask to be more than friends’ as I had recently gotten out of a long-term relationship.

Of course that apparently translated to him asking me out via text as soon as he got home. Upon politely declining, I was subjected to every sexual slur you could think of whilst being told what an idiot I am for passing up such a stand-up guy.

Thus began his two-year campaign of stalking.”


19. I came out to find a 12-page letter pinned under my windshield wiper, detailing all of the ways I failed.

“Senior year of high school, I dated a guy who was awesome on paper and all that, but we seemed to not really click. Like, I got the sense he actually liked me but wasn’t particularly attracted to me (we’d make out, but basically were in a holding pattern from about date #2 on, he’d seem happy to see me but at the same time never once told me I was pretty–not even when we went to prom)… Anyway, senior year is winding down and I thought, this is clearly just some school thing and we’ll be broken up before I go to college, so I might as well end it before he gets invested. I tried to be as kind as possible, explained all the reasons he was great, detailed my reasons for ending it, and that I sincerely hoped we’d be friends. He proceeded to:

• Show up at places he never went to, just because I’d be there.

• Leave little notes, drawings, flowers he picked, etc. on my car (things he never did when we were actually dating, BTW).

• If I didn’t immediately greet him when he arrived somewhere I was, he’d come over and interrupt any conversation I was having, just repeating, ‘Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello’ until he was acknowledged. He would also wander off, then return to do it again at least a few more times if I stayed there.

• We never talked about birthdays while we were dating, but apparently, I missed his. I know this because I came out to find a 12-page letter pinned under my windshield wiper, detailing all of the ways I failed as a friend (item number 3 was ‘friends give birthday cards’).

• He petitioned my friends to tell me how sad he was and how I had broken his heart. Sometimes I’d meet a friend of a friend who would suddenly get this horrified look on their face and say, ‘Oh, you’re THAT girl? {ExBF} has told me a lot about you.’

• When I finally confronted him and said, ‘You know, we could have been at least friendly acquaintances, but the notes and you talking to my friends, and that ‘hello, hello’ stuff just killed it for me. So leave me alone,’ his response was, ‘I should have known. Nobody will ever love me. You just showed me I’m unlovable.’

• Between summer and the start of college, he did leave me alone. Five months post-breakup, Thanksgiving weekend, I had university friends over at my family’s house. At midnight, Thanksgiving night, my ex walks in the front door without even knocking—which he’d never once done while we were dating. He’d had a huge fight with his family, and for whatever reason decided to come to MY house. I didn’t want to freak out my friends OR wake up my parents, so I made him a turkey sandwich, put it in a paper bag, and told him to get in my car. I drove him to another friend’s house and said, ‘I’m trying to be kind because you’ve obviously had a bad night, but if I ever see you again, I’m going to call the police. Do not come back. Do not contact me again. Do not go to my parents’ house again.’

Even worse? The next summer, my high school best friend informed me that they were ‘in love’ and moving in together. I had told her everything that happened between us, but she just knew she understood him better and could give him the love he needed. Her happily ever after included:

• Excessive crying jags and raging tantrums (all his)

• Having to pay his bills so he could afford prescribed lithium pills

• Coming home to their apartment to find he’d not only destroyed all of their furniture but also done structural damage to the building

• Having him disappear without a word for weeks at a time

• Having him take all of her money and only months later find out he’d reconnected with some ex-girlfriend who was in Germany–manufacturing LSD and planning great mountain biking trips

• My (former) friend did not appreciate my laughing about how she was right, she definitely wound up knowing him better than I ever did. She thought I’d be sympathetic, but that’s not really how I roll. I basically said, ‘I told you I wanted him out of my life. I told you he was a psycho, but you told me I was wrong. Why would I want to talk to you about him now?’

tl,dr: Senior year boyfriend went from not particularly involved while dating to semi-stalking, showed up in the middle of the night months later, and ultimately went completely nuts after moving in with my former best friend.”


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