Lisa Woods

We were just chatting on the he phone and she said “we should go see a movie sometime”

Me: “I’m not a big movie guy.”

“Girls who think they’re doing me a favor by letting me date them. Nothing worse than them thinking they’re more important than you.”

Did I always love giving blowjobs? No. But, here I am today giving blowjobs and loving every minute (inch?) of it. Becoming a goddess (or god) of the meat pole takes time and patience…

He comes out from the other room completely naked and gyrating, saying “You got more than you bargained for!”

“She walked into the lavatory and left the door unlocked. I waited a few minutes and then followed her in. After cleaning up, I walked out and she followed a couple minutes after that. The perfect crime.”

Inspiration for when even getting out of bed seems impossible.

“When I asked my ex to marry me, she said yes. It would have been better if she had said no.”

“I’m so “indoctrinated”, it is hard for me to not be completely ashamed and fight crying even around people who completely support me and would not think less of me for it.”

“Which are you more likely to regret in 30 years: not sleeping with more randos, or letting the best girl you ever met get away?”

“When you look into that part of your brain that has ALWAYS has a nagging feeling that every relationship you’ve been in might not be right… and you’re shocked to find there’s nothing there at all.”

“Does she text you first?”

“The most intense feeling of being flirted with I’ve ever had was with a woman who was out on the dance floor and looking at me while I sat at a table on the sidelines. Went on for a good ten minutes and by the time she came over to speak to me I would have done anything she asked.”

“Through all the lies and the self destructive behavior, you realize you’re actually doing a drug. Habitual cheating is exactly like drug use. It benefits no one but you and your selfish needs. Then when you get off of it, you’re always one step away from relapse.”

“Six years later we are 1000 times happier than we were before he cheated. It brought us closer.”

Even when a relationship recovers, men who’ve been cheated on are never the same.

He fucked my life and set me back years–money I could’ve saved, time with other people or working on school or jobs. He knew he was ruining my future and didn’t care. I know they’ve all told everyone I’m a crazy, spiteful bitch.

“I want to be treated like a person. Not a prize. Not some code that needs to be cracked. Not like a goddess. Not like a whore. A person.”

At, work, for whatever reason, when I first started I told a girl that I was married…I was never married…It got so out of hand that I actually bought a fake wedding ring….The whole hospital thinks I’m a husband…