17 Men Confess Exactly How They Wish Women Would Flirt With Them


“Offer to buy me a drink, I’m serious. I’d feel extremely flattered and be instantly interested in you.”

—James, 26


“If you slowly and deliberately run your fingers through my hair while smiling at me I will instantly notice. There’s certain kinds of touching that are intimate without being sexual and I love that kind of touching from a woman who’s flirting.”

—Isaac, 28


“Personally, I’ve been trained by life to not assume I’m being flirted with. As a result I can never tell I’m being flirted with. About a month ago a girl was talking to me at the grocery store of all places about produce. Dope that I am, I figure she just wants to talk about lettuce for five minutes. Just when I was about to go on my way, lettuce in hand, she says “I’m flirting with you.”

It was the most amazing thing ever. We’ve been on a bunch of dates since then and we really like each other.

So, what I’m saying is don’t be afraid to spell it out.”

—Greg, 24


“Be smart! Please do not play dumb or do the hair twirling, gum snapping dopey girl routine. I’m not saying I don’t want to make out with that girl if she’s for real but if you’re playing dumb then I’m dumb enough to think you’re actually dumb and will then always think you’re dumb.

It screws both of us out of getting to know one another. Be as smart as you are because I’m sure trying to be as smart as possible.”

—Nate, 23


“Just being nice and having a good conversation with me will get my attention immediately. Good conversation is a total turn-on for me. If there’s nothing to say then it’s just meh.”

—Abraham, 25


“Black lipstick…that is my kryptonite. Aside from that, sincere compliments. You’d be surprised at how few compliments men actually get. We don’t get them at work. We don’t get them from our friends because ‘that’s gay’ and we don’t get them from random strangers.

A compliment will turn my head.”

—Adam, 24


“Some men feel differently but I really prefer it when a woman isn’t overtly sexual when she flirts. Subtlety goes a long way. What I’m saying is that touching my hand briefly goes a lot further than talking about how much you love giving head. And yes, that’s absolutely happened.”

—Jason, 29


“I’m Black and this bit is for White girls. Please do not say anything about ‘Black guys’ this or whatever. I know you might think you’re trying to relate to me but it can come off like you think I’m exotic. To put a positive spin on it, if you want to flirt with me then just say hello, I thought I’d come and talk to you.

That kind of up front ‘hey, I think you’re interesting’ approach really goes a long way with every non-idiot out there.”

—Eric, 22


“Look me in the eyes for just a little too long and then look away like you’ve been caught. Such a rush.”

—Frank, 24


“Just be yourself. Don’t feel the need to show how much you can be like the guys. I like the guys but I don’t want to date the guys. Cussing like a sailor and being super rowdy to try and impress me usually has the opposite effect.

Of course, maybe you’re just a rowdy sailor but if you’re not then don’t try to be.”

—Edward, 23


“Insist on dancing with me. Pull me out there onto the floor. Show me you want to have fun with me and that you’re adventurous.”

—Chris, 24


“Compliments are a good way for a girl to flirt with me. If I compliment her back then I’m absolutely interested.”

—Stephen, 22


“It might sound stupid but laugh at my idiotic jokes if you’re interested in me. I tell jokes because I’m trying to make you laugh/help us have a good time. Laughing tells me that, if nothing else, you appreciate the effort I’m making.”

—Charles, 25


“I don’t know what flirting specifically works for me. It’s different with every girl I’ve ever dated. They were all different. I’ll tell you what doesn’t work. Not talking to me. That doesn’t work.”

—Jim, 25


“This is pretty next level but if things are going well and we’re both flirting with each other I like to say ‘oh god, you’re flirting with me’ in a playful way. The really skilled flirters I’ve met will deny it to the grave all the while continuing to flirt. It’s so fun and I find it puts us both at ease a bit since it’s basically me saying ‘I like this flirting’.”

—Dave, 27


“Smiling does not count as flirting if that’s all you’re doing. If a woman smiles at me I will assume she does not hate me. I won’t assume she’s flirting with me.”

—Chad, 26


“The most intense feeling of being flirted with I’ve ever had was with a woman who was out on the dance floor and looking at me while I sat at a table on the sidelines. Went on for a good ten minutes and by the time she came over to speak to me I would have done anything she asked.”

—Marvin, 28 Thought Catalog Logo Mark