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14 People Confess To How They Became Cheaters And Why Most Don’t Plan On Stopping

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Alf Santos - www.instagram.com/alfsantos/
Alf Santos –
www.instagram.com/alfsantos/

1. Cheaters Cheat Because They Don’t Respect Themselves

I’ve been a cheater in most relationships I’ve had, and as a result, a self-hater for most relationships. I’ve been through therapy for about 8 years for other reasons and what I’ve come to learn is that I didn’t feel I deserved love, affection, or appreciation. This stems from a whole host of other things from my childhood (sexual abuse, lack of fatherly relationship, latchkey kid, etc).

I treated relationships as though they were temporary even though they lasted for years. I’m a good looking guy so lots of women offer up temptation that I found difficult to reject. And each time, I hated myself for my indiscretions. I also picked relationships that were bad for me–cheater girlfriends, terrible communicators, insecure women, etc.

Then I met the girl of my dreams. I was so into her from day one that I immediately shut down all of my other options. I told other women I was dating that I was happy and done dating around. I shut down a non-committed long-distance relationship as well. I was really, really in love. Then I found out she was cheating on me. I can’t describe the heartbreak and betrayal I felt. This sent me into a downward spiral of emotional hell. Through therapy, I was able to get back on track, appreciate myself more, and find a girl who is absolutely perfect for me. I do still feel urges to cheat sometimes, but my unwillingness to hurt her saves me. Part of my self-hatred stems from not doing the right thing. Each time I do the right thing, I feel a sense of pride, and it makes me feel worthy of the love I receive. A positive cycle.

2. Here’s How It Starts

You know how somehow every girl is interested in you when you already have a girlfriend? Well it starts like that. At first you’re not going to cheat, but you want to see if you’ve still got it. Now you know you’ve still got it and just want to dance with her a little bit. All of a sudden you’re dancing and making out, but you’re not sleeping with her so its not cheating yet. Then one night you’re really drunk and had a fight with your girlfriend, and you end up doing the same thing and boom you’ve slept with this girl and are officially cheating. Now you keep sleeping with this one girl because: “Hey, nothing bad happened the first time, this girl is just a physical outlet for me and I still love my GF.” Well time goes on and you’ve fallen so far over the line that you can’t even remember when you really crossed it, and this new girl wants more from you, and your GF is wondering why you suddenly have to work late but are making no more money, and you’ve got to try and find a way to break it off with the new girl, but it’s hard because you kind of like her too. Suddenly you’ve constructed a web of lies so complicated that you’re not even sure you can unravel it, and you’re not sleeping well because if your current GF finds out the shit will hit the fan, and if your newer girl finds out, your GF will eventually find out. You get into this situation where it’s just easier to put it off, and it’s sort of like when you put off breaking up with someone but to a greater extent because the disincentives are so copious.

You push the envelope, little by little, and by the time you’ve realized you’ve crossed the line, everything is fucked up. Now you’ve got to try and break it off amicably, but it’s not that easy because you like both girls and they both like you, so you try and let it sit, but it will, more likely than not, blow up in your face.

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    • http://eraserhead88.wordpress.com eraserhead88

      1. If you just fall in love with someone else while you are in relationship – it does mean this relationship just wasn’t right. It happens cause we get to know each other every day and not every time we feel like ‘this is it’.

      2. If someone’s cheating only because he/she was betrayed in the past – sorry, it’s not excuse for me. People are not toys. And I knew people in the past who picked the girl/boy, made her fell in love only because they wanted to break a heart… It’s awful. I believe in karma – everything goes back to us sooner or later. If someone has broken your heart – try to give as much as you can (good) to someone new.

      3. ‘Cheating has kept my marriage alive’ – that’s okay if both of them know about it and they don’t mind. For some people sex is just a sex and has nothing about love – I understand.

      4. ‘Cheaters cheat because they don’t respect themselves’ – sorry, but i think they just don’t know what ‘respect’ means. Its nothing about don’t respect themselves, it’s about don’t care about someone’s feelings. If you are with someone and you think about others just finish this! That person must be fun, clever, lovely or whatever if you decided hanging out with her/him, don’t ruin her/his heart, just say ‘goodbye’ in the right way.

    • http://dripcoffeecowgirl.wordpress.com drip-coffee-cowgirl

      Cheating is so pathetic. These fuckers should either call themselves polyamorous, cut off the relationship, or be honest and clear about their needs and work something out. The thing is, if you’re not going to be honest, you don’t deserve a significant other. These kinds of things really screw people up. Sounds like there’s a lot of immaturity in these “confessions”.

    • https://brenicojayblog.wordpress.com/2016/05/23/14-people-confess-to-how-they-became-cheaters-and-why-most-dont-plan-on-stopping/ 14 People Confess To How They Became Cheaters And Why Most Don’t Plan On Stopping – Lifestyle Writing
    • http://godisgreat.co/14-people-confess-to-how-they-became-cheaters-and-why-most-dont-plan-on-stopping/ 14 People Confess To How They Became Cheaters And Why Most Dont Plan On Stopping - God is Great!
    • http://divorce.sobeit.co.za/14-people-confess-to-how-they-became-cheaters-and-why-most-dont-plan-on-stopping/ 14 People Confess To How They Became Cheaters And Why Most Dont Plan On Stopping | Divorce
    • http://www.geekdaily.net/internet/14-people-confess-to-how-they-became-cheaters-and-why-most-dont-plan-on-stopping/ 14 People Confess To How They Became Cheaters And Why Most Dont Plan On Stopping | Geek Daily
    • http://allensrepositoryofstuff.wordpress.com allensrepositoryofstuff

      Never ceases to amaze me how people will fuck up a perfectly great relationship chasing something new or shiny. Man (or woman) up and realize that you do not have to bite every little tease that is offered. For many men, it is an ego trip to pick up lots of women.

    • http://www.viralblister.com/cheaters/ 14 People Confess To How They Became Cheaters And Why Most Dont Plan On Stopping - Viral Blister
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