25 Guys Talk About The Surefire Ways They Can Tell You’re Really Interested

Jesse Herzog - www.instagram.com/jesseherzog/
Jesse Herzog –

1. If They Like You, Nothing Will Stop Them From Seeing You

An extra big hint is if you find out it’s something they aren’t normally into. I invited a girl to a recently-opened steak house I wanted to try out. She said sure, then proceeded to scour the menu until she found a salad. Turns out she was a vegetarian but she still wanted to go. That’s a green light if I’ve ever seen one.

2. They Make An Effort

If they make excuses to see you they’re almost always interested.

3. Definitely Touching

Touching you when it is completely unnecessary. Constantly initiating conversation. Always inviting you out. Those are a few I believe to be true.

4. The “Signs” Can Be Totally Innocent!

The only time I’ve been able to tell is literally if someone blatantly tells me, or makes a move on me. Pretty much the only reason I’ve ever had any sort of relationship or hookup with a woman is because they’ve pretty much grabbed me and told me they were interested or they’ve told someone else who then told me. I honestly don’t know how people can read these sort of things. I’ve had way too many situations where the typical “signals” were either unintentional or the result of girls just feeling very comfortable around me, knowing that pretty much I wouldn’t do anything.

5. Signs Within Signs

I met this girl at a martial arts club. She was cute, flexible, bubbly personality, terrific smile, and as a bonus, a quality martial artist. I definitely liked her and I thought she may like me back. Fast forward a few months later and we’ve chatted a lot, but in a group setting. Usually after hard days at the club, or after belt gradings, that sort of thing. The core group of us would head over to a restaurant and just hang out.

So one of these times when we’re hanging out as a group she’s talking to me (one on one) and she’s goes on and on about how annoyed she is about how people thought she was going out with one of the other guys at the table. She kept on going and going for almost an hour. She was definitely NOT with him. She definitely was NOT interested in him. She repeated herself often in the hour long tirade and in my brain I’m thinking. “This is a sign. She’s telling me this because she’s actually interested in me and wants to be sure I know she’s not with anyone else. After all…why in gods name would she go on and on for an hour about this? Right?”

So a week passes and I ask her out.

She’s shocked.

It was…unexpected…

She said she’d get back to me after the weekend after she had some time to think about it.

The fuck?

We did end up dating but sometimes…women…and signals…it’s like they’re some sort of alien species that assumes you know what they’re saying/doing/talking about. Nutcases. I pick up signals better from my dog than I do women.

….unless they straight out grab for your crotch…then you know for sure they’re into you.

6. Man-Reading Skills

The trick with signs, as with all body language, isn’t to fixate on any one sign. Look for patterns, and listen to your instincts. If you sense interest, it’s probably there. You may be wrong from time to time, but with practice your man-reading skills can become almost ironclad. Overall, if you see the signs, act on them if you’re interested. If you don’t see them, move on.

7. Word Gets Around

When that person keeps talking about you to people who don’t know you.

8. They’re Not Afraid To Text You First

I (24M) had this conversation a while back with a good friend / coworker (36F). I was stressing about a girl I’d been talking to, or hanging out with, or something like that, who I was interested in, and trying to decipher signs, and cryptic clues, for any hint as far as her intentions, and whether or not she was into me.

My friend asked me “Well… Does she text you first?”

I thought about it for a second and said “No… I’m always the one who hits HER up.”

My friend said “Well hon, I’m sorry to tell you, but if a girl is legitimately interested in you, SHE will absolutely make an effort to hit YOU up.”

Can’t argue with logic. I’ve gone by this rule ever since.

9. She’s Not Actually Cold

“My hand is cold.”

10. They Want To Help You

Before we started dating, my SO travelled 300 km to help me collect live wolf-spiders (Australian) from traps in the ground. I’m a biologist. He’s a programmer with zero spider collecting experience. He travelled a long way to assist me with a task most regular people wouldn’t poke with a stick. That’s how I knew he was into me.

11. They’ll Laugh At Anything

My go to test is to make a really bad joke. If she laughs, she likes you. I’m talking retarded level joke. If she isn’t interested she’ll call you out on it or make a face. I’m not saying a girl that likes you might not call you out on a bad joke. But if she laughs, I’m 98% sure she digs you.

12. They Care

They care about you. They ask questions about things that are important to you. They remember things you’ve told them or things you’ve done that others don’t pay attention to. They listen intently. They look excited when you say their name, something in their eyes. They don’t look for excuses to be somewhere else when you’re there. They laugh when you laugh. They feel comfortable close to you, touching you. They try to impress you- maybe with humor, or intellect, courage, strength, beauty, or even with apathy: when they’re afraid of their feelings not being reciprocated. If someone does these things, it doesn’t always mean they want you physically or sexually though. There aren’t many definite signs.

The best sign you could probably get would be how they respond to: “Hey, I’d like spend some more time with you. I’m planning on doing X later, want to come?”

13. The Signs Are There, You Just Have To See Them

The problem are not the signs, the problem is at the reader.

There are people that suck at reading (me included), but even us sometimes we think “Maybe that person likes me”. If you think it… dare to test it for fucks sake!

Seriously, when you finally enter a relationship you’ll see that those missed connections that you were not sure they were declarations of intentions, they were. It’s one of those things that you have to live it to understand it.

14. They’re Different When It’s Just You Two

I’ve read and googled this a lot, so let me tell you the only one that is a definite sign. They are a different person when they are with you. When I first met my SO, she was so talkative and everything when we were in the same room, but when she was with other people she was a very quiet, introverted person.

15. Science!

When talking face to face you notice her eyes move down to your mouth area and when they move back up to meet your eyes her mouth opens up slightly.

16. Some Girls Don’t Know The Power They Have

Does she initiate physical contact? touching your arm and such. Does she laugh at your jokes, even when they aren’t that funny? Those are some signs, but they could be intentional flirtation to make you like her. A lot of girls (younger ones mostly) really want you to like them…. Even if they don’t like you in that way. Everyone is like this, but when girls figure out that they can do things to make others like them, it can become a powerful thing to play with. Most of the time it isn’t even intentional, it is just behavior that gets positive responses, and are then reinforced. At a certain age, women realize this power can be a curse and stop exercising it willy nilly. About mid twenties, when she appears interested, she probably is.

17. She Asks You To Do Things For Her

She would likely act more playful than sexy or mysterious around you. A lot of girls flirt in almost a child like manner. They would tease you, they’ll mess with your hair or your belongings etc.

Also, if you notice that she’s asking for your help for things that you know she is capable of doing herself, that’s a pretty solid sign. Sometimes girls, subconsciously, act more in need of help when they’re with the guy they like. I guess it’s sort of a way to establish a more traditional male-female dynamic between you two. Which makes it easier for both parties to imagine themselves beyond friendship. A way of introducing gender, or at least, traditional gender roles into a relationship that is not yet romantic. She may ask you to open her water bottle for her or put something together. If it’s the kind of thing that you know she is capable of doing herself, then it’s probably her trying to appeal to your masculinity.

18. Definite Signs

Definite signs:

  • They listen to you and ask follow up questions.
  • They smile when they see you.
  • They compliment you without the expectation of a compliment back.
  • They take an interest in your past as well as your future.
  • They’re ok with being close to you physically.

But all of these can be said for people that are just friends too. If you really want to know if someone is into you in a ‘more than friends’ sense, you just have to ask. The worst thing that can happen is they say “no” and you can move on to someone else. The best case scenario is that they say “yes”. So what do you really have to lose?

19. Watch For Body Language

If she plays with her hair while talking to you or has her feet pointed in your direction. For example, she’s at a bar talking with friends (not facing you) in a group/circle but her feet are pointed towards you. I took a body language class in college. One of the many irrelevant classes I took.

20. Dating Changes And So Do The “Signs”

Sometimes it’s nice to be an “older person” over say… 40?

Mature women tend to just outright say shit that clues you in, or out.

“I like you. Want to get coffee sometime?”


“I’d like to be physical with you, but I don’t want it to get complicated.” (cha-ching!)


“I’m really looking for a friend that might turn into a relationship.” (sure, if that’s what you want too).

or, (joyfully) the outright,

“God, I just need to get fucked right now!” (uh, here let me help!).

None of these young girl games.

21. Sometimes A Buyback Is A Girl Buying You A Drink

Had just turned 21 and starting going to a bar really close to work after my shift ended. I had the biggest crush on the bartender and this was the first bar I actually started going to right after my birthday. We would converse and talk about random stuff on slow nights, but I always knew that a bartender had her job to worry about, so I figured she was being sweet because her job required it to be. 2 weeks after my birthday I was causally drinking after my shift and she put a pickle back (Jameson Whiskey and pickle juice to chase) in front of me and said “I can’t drink right now, so drink for me”. I was baffled for a second and actually laughed a little I was so caught off guard. I was even more baffled when I got my tab back and she omitted the drink she gave me. This would go on to happen quite frequently where she would purposefully “forget” to add a drink or two to my bill. Now at this point, I couldn’t help but get my hopes up, but if life has taught me anything it’s don’t get your hopes up. Well, a few days later I wait for her to close the bar (I usually stay till closing, I befriended most of the staff at this point) and she invites me to drink with her and the staff after hours. A few drinks later she’s confessing that she has liked me the moment I walked in to celebrate my 21st. Funny how life works.

If she buys you drinks, she’s probably into you.

22. Scent Is Powerful

A common thread I’ve noticed among women that I either dated or hooked up with is that before we were in any kind of relationship they mentioned that I smell nice. If a girl tells you you smell nice I believe that there is some level of actionable attraction there.

23. If They’re Suddenly Different

When they suddenly make an effort to want to know you. Or find excuses to hang around you. Or if there’s a special “smile” they have when around you. I think those are some pretty important ones.

24. A Girl Dishes On Her Technique

As a girl this is what I do:

I touch my hair when I see the person. I act cute and talk a lot, sometimes, I notice my pitch going higher. I touch the person a lot. I text them good morning or ask about their day. I buy that person food or anything that reminds me of them. I casually ask them to hang out or makes excuses to. Once we hang out, I’ll say something along the lines of “Time passed by so fast, I still wanna hang with you.” I kiss the person (if I feel that it’s mutual).

25. You Just Know

When you can tell that they’re listening to what you’re saying even when you aren’t talking to them. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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