42 Women Share The Secrets They Desperately Want Men To Know

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tonyohhmg / www.twenty20.com/photos/78dae20e-7f16-49cf-95a0-adc113526924


You don’t need tricks or gimmicks to “get” a woman. We’re not prizes or objects. Just be comfortable and confident in who you are, and respectful of other people (women = people!) and you will eventually find your perfect person. Or a date. Or whatever you’re looking for.


Our vaginas are not bottomless pits. There’s lots of stuff going on in there, you can’t just ram it home every time. That shit hurts. And yes, size does matter. If it’s too big it’s going to hurt. That goes for length and girth! I’m a small woman so with someone like me, you gotta take your time!


Just because someone considers themselves a “nice guy” doesn’t mean they truly are. Everyone plays the hero in their own mind.


Good stay at home dads are awesome and deserve respect. When I was working full time my husband stayed home with our young kids. The guys at work were assholes about it. The women thought it was great.

Now he’s working full time and I’m at home with our boys. It’s not as easy as he made it seem.


If I get all dressed up every once in a while and spend extra time to do my hair/makeup to go run errands or go to work it does NOT mean I’m doing it for another Guy or to draw attention to myself. I just want to look and feel extra pretty every once in a while.


Cat calls are not a fucking compliment.


We’re not some mysterious, ethereal creatures that you need to know how to crack a code to communicate with. Most girls are not going to be like “Eww, who does this creep think he is trying to talk to me?” And if she is, she’s the one with the problem, not you.

All women are not gold digging bitches looking to leech off of you the way all men are sex obsessed iron pumping meatheads.

In many Western cultures, women often communicate passive aggressively because they are often taught to be submissive people pleasers, to not be subversive. This is why a woman may say “Do you want to stop and get something to eat?” and get upset at you when your only answer is “no.” She is trying to tell you to stop because she is hungry, but not trying to sound bossy. The “correct” answer is “No, but we can if you are hungry.” Women understand the code when talking to other women. Men are more direct in their communication because they are not penalized as being bossy or bitchy or what have you. Both sexes actually project their way of communicating onto the other, which is why women will try to read way too much into what you say.

Deborah Tannen has a lot of interesting research on this phenomenon. It is also important to mention that this is cultural. From what I understand many East Asian cultures, both men and women communicate passive aggressively, leaving the Westerners they communicate with feeling frustrated that Asians are not honest, direct communicators.


Don’t even shove your fingers in without caressing me first!


Clean nails and fresh breath make a man.


That almost all women are more physically vulnerable than men are. Realize that things you say jokingly to women on the street affects them a lot more than you know.


We only say “size doesn’t matter” to be polite. It really matters, and there is such a thing as too big as well as too small.


Women need to feel validated, appreciated, and accepted just like men. A simple “thanks for everything you do” from my guy can take a crap day and just balance it out. It’s nice to know that things are noticed even if they aren’t super important.


Please don’t ever make fun of a woman for period-reacted issues unless you know for a fact that she open to joking about it (and even then, be careful). Jokingly saying, “Oh, it must be that time of the month!” or “Heh, need a tampon?!?” will make most women very angry.


Don’t think I’m a manipulative bitch just because all of your ex girlfriends were.


I want to be treated like a person. Not a prize. Not some code that needs to be cracked. Not like a goddess. Not like a whore. A person. Every person has their complexities and hypocrisies and weird shit that they do, and yes, some of that can be attributed to the social conditioning of gender. But it’s super demeaning to be treated like a mystery. I’m not. I’m a person. People are complicated.


Even some of the quiet and nerdy girls are kinky!


I can be as blind to whatever signals are thrown my way as you are. I verbally have to be told directly “I like you, I wanna pursue that.”


Just because we don’t want to date YOU, does not mean we want to date the antithesis of you. For example: clean cut, “nice” guy, good job vs. tattooed up, jerk to girls, bad ass. These are NOT mutually exclusive, and just because I don’t prefer YOU, doesn’t mean that I prefer the exact opposite of you. Just because I’m dating someone other than you, don’t assume you can treat me better. Also, I am not a bitch, or a tease, if we are friends, and you are “nice” and I don’t want to date you. There are no “dibs”.


Men are not jerks. They are just human, some humans are good and others are bad. Just like women. Plus, if you only attract jerks, maybe you’re the problem.

Also, I check out men’s crotch. I checked out my co-worker’s crotch during lunch.


See my hobbies in life as something fundamental to who I am, not just little crafts and don’t you dare say “that’s cute”.

Women daydream about being badasses too, adrenaline is a chemical in our brains we all share.

We have seen some shit, so have you. Take me as seriously as you would like to be taken at any given time.

We are protective of you too, if someone is being wronged or harmed we recognize that and we have your back in whichever method we deem necessary.

Don’t catch yourself saying “you don’t see many women….” etc There are billions of humans on this earth, maybe you haven’t met them yet. It’s just better if we don’t point out those things to each other in the long run.

Like you, we have been alive for more than a day. Nobody is my mentor at life and getting “taught” basic things like I don’t yet understand is frustrating. Respect is earned where it is given. Do not teach when it isn’t asked.

Lastly, we’re a lot more alike you than you think.


Some girls actually do make good friends (without benefits of a sexual nature).


Personally, I would like men to know that when us women tell you that something you did or said hurt our feelings, that all we really want is a real apology. And we don’t want to have to ask for one. We can’t help how we feel. So no matter how stupid it is, just apologize.

Of course I think that we should let them know when something they did or said hurt our feelings. I’m not saying we shouldn’t tell them that we are upset, I’m saying we shouldn’t have to ask for them to say sorry after we explained why we are upset. Same goes to both sexes.


Sometimes I don’t want to talk. When my IBS combines with period cramps, I’m in pain and get snappy and I tend to hurt people during that time. Please, don’t take that personally, I’m concerned about our friendship and don’t want to risk it over some plumbing troubles.


STOP trying to have sex with me while I’m sleeping got damn it…if I wanted to have sex with you it would have already happened. but, hey, it’s fine…


What’s attractive isn’t necessarily what you think is. For example, being exceptionally good at anything is pretty fantastic. Even If it’s something deemed as nerdy by society.


Please clean up after yourselves and help me out when I ask. Acting like you give a shit about us and our home in a concrete way through actions, matters way more than any stated I Love You’s (not that they aren’t nice too)

Also, if you want to give an obligation gift, (or a “forgive me” gift) it is meaningless bordering on insulting if it isn’t perfectly thought out. Any bitch can befriend diamonds, and your mother only pretends to like cut flowers.

You wanna win my heart? Figure out what I like and do that.


I love it when a man cooks for me. Such a turn on.


This may sound irrational or stupid, but please, please do not say you are a bigger feminist than I am. You are missing the point.


Please stop trying to put it in my butt.


I don’t speak for all women, but I personally find it a bit annoying when my guy friends call be dude, bro or man. Sometimes, just sometimes.


The only time a guy should be insecure about losing his girl is when he knows someone else can treat her better.


When we tell you we have a problem, don’t tell us that problem isn’t actually a problem or is a stupid problem. And please at least listen to the problem before offering solutions.


If you’re dumb enough to date girls that take advantage of you, it’s your own fault for not having enough self-respect.


Choosing a place to eat is more difficult than it seems. Narrowing it down to two options will speed up the process.


Sending dick pics. STOP sending me dick pics…seriously. If I wanted to see it, I would have told you!


We really really hate it when you cut us off when we’re speaking. Can you imagine if you were trying to tell someone something important and they just. wouldn’t. let. you. get. it. out? Everyone does this by accident sometimes but if you do it repeatedly and habitually then it just comes off as disrespectful and belittling. Just be thoughtful.


We know that you’re afraid of pissing us off when we’re feeling sensitive or moody and even if we don’t say it we’re already super sorry that we’ve made you feel that way.


Just like there’s not one type of guy, there’s also not one type girl. Please remember that just because you were treated badly before (even if it was several times) that it doesn’t mean we are all mean. I’ve seen guy friends of mine spiral for years because they decided women were all bitches and it made them hateful people that I could barely be friends with.

Give yourself permission to believe there’s someone out there who will love you and make sure you’re still loveable when you meet them and not a crusty and bitter person.


We do want you to buy us new panties…just not the super sexy ones that you like way more than we do. Like, comfy cotton ones in the style you see us wear the most. That’s actually a thoughtful gift.


The truth is we’re under a lot of pressure too from every angle. We’re expected to have kids and be perfect mothers. We’re expected to get a job and “Lean In” and become CEOs, etc. We’re expected to be model thin and make it look effortless. We’re expected to be super sexy at will.

Sometimes these expectations contradict each other and it can be very frustrating. So, just understand that.

Also, understand that me asking men to understand the pressures on women is in no way an attempt at saying that men don’t have enormous pressures of their own. When we both understand what each of us is facing then we’ll be better able to face it…together.


Sometimes we’re going to shit talk our friends and family. While, in the heat of the moment it may seem like a good idea to let loose with your frustrations about them as well it is not a good idea and will cause us to resent you later.

We’re asking for your support in these moments, not for you to dogpile. My husband used to jump in like this every time I complained about my mother and finally I was like “Dude, she’s my mother. You do not get to say ‘yeah, she’s being a superbitch’ as a way of showing solidarity with me.”


If you have to trick me into liking you then you’ll never be able to keep me. Be yourself if for no other reason than your own happiness. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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