18 Dudes Reveal The Warning Signs They Look For The First Time You Invite Them In

1. “I’m not super anal about it but I will 100% check to see if you cleaned the seat of your toilet. Just because you have the lid down doesn’t mean the dried funk isn’t there! I’ll also check the tub or shower to see exactly what color it is. If it’s black or yellow or orange then I know I have a woman on my hands who absolutely doesn’t care about cleanliness.” — Jamie, 23

2. “Pictures, if they have tons of pictures everywhere. That can be fine but if all the pictures are of them then I start to think I have a special snowflake on my hands. No one should want to surround themselves with their own image. It’s completely weird.” — Darnell, 27

3. “Number of pillows on the bed correlates directly to how girly a girl is. If she has more than four or if she has any/any pillows with tassels or fringe on them then I know she is a girly girl whether she thinks she is or not.” — Eric, 25

4. “Condom wrappers. Point blank, I look for condom wrappers. I mean, not actively but I keep an eye out for them. I do this because I had an experience where a girl and I hooked up and as I was reaching down to grab my shoes the next morning my hand touched a condom wrapper right next to another condom wrapper. I suddenly felt like I’d slept in a back alley.” — Charles, 22

5. “I don’t look for anything. If she’s invited me in then nothing short of evidence of intravenous drug use could ever discourage my impending erection.” — Nicholas, 25

6. “Pictures of ex-boyfriends. I get that sometimes people have pictures from school and stuff like that where an ex might happen to be in the pic with a bunch of other people but if they just have pictures of them and their ex or just their ex then I’m going to believe that they’re carrying a torch and I’m just something she’s distracting herself with.” — Michael, 25

7. “Two things, if they have a crucifix on the wall or anything they own indicates any interest in astrology then I’m not going to be able to take them seriously.” — Oliver, 24

8. “I look for stacks of ‘women’s magazines’ everywhere. Let’s be clear. I’m 26 and I date people around my age. If you’re still reading magazines for aspirational 16-year-old girls at 26 then you might have some problems.” — Peter, 26

9. “Does she have style? That’s all I look for. A woman with style is sexy.” — Tim, 29

10. “Does she have any food in the refrigerator. I believe that only people who can cook for themselves are really adults.” — Marcus, 30

11. “My big thing is wine glasses and I don’t mean wine glasses she got at some tasting with a winery’s brand stenciled on it. I mean real wine glasses that she bought. Everyone goes through several stages of household wares from college until ‘adulting correctly’ and stenciled wine glasses is only one step up from mason jars and coffee cups. It screams ‘I turned 21 and they let me in.'” — Baron, 31

12. “I mean, I don’t know, is her place gross like a garbage can? If it’s not then I don’t really care about anything else. Also, I’m a complete slob myself.” — Jake, 24

13. “Does she have candles from the Yankee Candle Company or Bath and Body Works or Bed, Bath, and Beyond? I hate all those things. Those were made for Grandmas with no sense of smell trying to cover the odor of their pets. Do. Not. Trust.”— Omar, 26

14. “Anything about Marilyn Monroe in any way, shape, or form. Actually, anything extolling anything about women at all. I’ve never known any man to have anything on his walls about ‘men are awesome’ or whatever and if a girl has that then I figure she’s got issues with men.” — Arnold, 27

15. “Does she have beer? Does she have a bottle opener? If she does, we’re all set.” — Freddie, 28

16. “Signs of other men. ‘Man sign’ as I call it.” — DeAndre, 27

17. “I don’t know that this is a sign so much as it just tells you a lot about them. How are their books and CDs organized? I’m telling you this is like a window into their brain. In that same vein, if she doesn’t have any books or CDs then she might be a serial killer living under a fake identity. Of course, none of this works now that we all have e-readers and iPhones now. Still, useful.”— Neil, 24

18. “Not gonna lie, the first time I’m invited in I’m not going to be looking for any warning signs. I’m going to be looking for panties coming off. Hopefully that’s what she wants too.” — David, 26 TC mark

About the author
Boston by way of Charleston, army brat, chocolate lover, star watcher, adventure taker. Read more articles from Lisa on Thought Catalog.

Learn more about Thought Catalog and our writers on our about page.

Related