You’ve officially been assigned into the Cute Girl Category. We know you applied for the Sexy Category, but after a panel of qualified straight men examined your portfolio and read your personal statement, we decided that you definitely have more potential to be Cute rather than Sexy.
There is something really terrifying to me about the moments right before you fall asleep and I wonder if Regular People feel that way too.
Oh! I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you there.
Wednesday: I still haven’t written anything. I can feel myself being on edge over it. I tell a non-writer friend my dilemma and all he says in response is that there are too many listicles on the internet these days. I scream out loud at my desk.
I just wanted to start out by saying that it’s really great that you have so many feelings. Feelings are really important. And you, Brian, have a lot of them. Like, a lot.
We Made Eye Contact On The Subway And I Immediately Imagined Our Future Together (We Move To The Suburbs And Have Three Beautiful Kids)
Dan: “Oh, you write? That must be nice. Have you ever heard of Deutsche Bank though?”
Liz: “You write? Fantastic. What’s your last name? I’m going to read everything you’ve ever published right now in line for the bathroom.”
I like to be the big spoon sometimes because I secretly think about how vulnerable the other person is.
It’s a dangerous mindset to be made part of. And it’s everywhere.