Latest Posts

New iPhone Update Now Updates Your Sad, Buffering Existence Too

We at Apple HQ wanted to send you guys this little email about an exciting announcement for the newest iPhone update, which is coming soon. Basically — based on the hoards of personal information you’ve given us without a second thought — whenever you update your phone, we’ll be updating your personal life as well.

‘Black Mirror’ Lite™: Episodes For People Who Enjoy Emotional Stability, But Feel Culturally Excluded

It’s that time of year again: Everyone you know is talking about Black Mirror. You break out in a cold sweat. You tried watching two episodes and couldn’t get over how depressing it was. Here’s Black Mirror Lite™, some made-up Black Mirror storylines that are gentle enough for you to digest, while being vague enough so other people might assume you suffered through the actual show on Netflix.

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