Fezzik: I just want you to feel you’re doing well. I hate for people to die embarrassed.
Inigo Montoya: You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you.
Westley: You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die.
Valerie: The chocolate coating makes it go down easier. But you have to wait fifteen minutes for full potency. And you shouldn’t go in swimming after, for at least, what?
Miracle Max: An hour?
Valerie: Yeah, an hour.
Prince Humperdinck: Please consider me as an alternative to suicide.
Inigo Montoya: Hello! My name is Inigo Montoya! You killed my father! Prepare to die!
Westley: Once word leaks out that a pirate has gone soft, people begin to disobey you, and then it’s nothing but work, work, work all the time.
Buttercup: You mock my pain.
Westley: Life is pain. Anyone who says differently is selling something.
Inigo Montoya: I just work for Vizzini to pay the bills. There’s not a lot of money in revenge.
Prince Humperdinck: Tyrone, you know how much I love watching you work, but I’ve got my country’s 500th anniversary to plan, my wedding to arrange, my wife to murder and Guilder to frame for it; I’m swamped.
Inigo: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
Westley: I wasn’t finished. The next thing you will lose will be your left eye followed by your right.
Prince Humperdinck: And then my ears, I understand let’s get on with it.
Westley: Wrong! Your ears you keep and I’ll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, “Dear God! What is that thing,” will echo in your perfect ears. That is what to the pain means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever.
Miracle Max: Sonny, true love is the greatest thing, in the world—except for a nice MLT—mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich, where the mutton is nice and lean and the tomato is ripe. They’re so perky, I love that.
The King: [after Buttercup kisses him] What was that for?
Buttercup: Because you’ve always been so kind to me, and I’ll never see you again, because I’m killing myself as soon as we reach the bridal suite.
The King: Won’t that be nice? She kissed me! Ha!
Westley: As you wish.
Miracle Max: There’s a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive.
Westley: Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while.
Priest: Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us togeder today. Mawage, that bwessed awangement, that dwean wifin a dweam…