Kat George

Some things you can do in life are inexplicably more badass than others.

Any “best of” list can tell you what restaurants you need to indulge in while you’re in New York, but I’ve got some tips for the truly gluttonous: the ones who want to eat the part of New York that doesn’t come with a side of locally sourced kale.

Be crazy. Guys love it when your hair is long and wild, and you swear at them in Spanish and shoot a gun at them like Penelope Cruz in Vicky Christina Barcelona. But also don’t be crazy.

All the kids these days are sexting.

If I could, I would insert approximately infinity pages right here, printed with nothing but the words “Hahahaha! Hahahaha!” over and over again forever.

I’m haunted by the memory of my 5-year-old cousin on the catwalk of a kids modelling show.

It’s on my hip and I’m keeping mum about it.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t fall in love all that often.

10. You are not fat, you are just bloated as all hell right now.

You know how Cara Delevingne pulls dumb faces in her selfies and still looks smokin’ hot?

3. They actually get in the way of you trying to do stuff, like carrying things, sleeping on your tummy and sometimes even in pilates.

My dad always says there are two reasons why you shouldn’t trust someone: because you don’t know them and because you do.

You will have to take at least 7 inches off the hem/legs of every dress, skirt and pair of pants you buy.

You will always be stupidly adorable.

I haven’t been in a fist fight since I was 15, but if I needed to, I would crack some skulls for my best friend.

I’m curious about vaginas. Not in a sexual way. In an anatomical way.

I can’t decide if I’m an adult or not yet, and most of my indecision comes down to the fact that when I think of adults, I think of them having a bunch of stuff that I just don’t have.

The confidence to dance like a maniac.