7. “Why does she want birth control?”
Ex girlfriends Mom greeted me with, “Did you convince my daughter to go on birth control so you could fuck her?!?” I was shocked to say the least because we had only been dating for a few weeks and she was a virgin, I wasn’t pushing the issue because I really liked her. In my confused state, the girlfriend at the time explained to me that she told her Mom she wanted to have sex with me and needed birth control. First encounter with her Mom and I never recovered from that, she hated me.
8. “Oh hell no, you ain’t going out with that boy.”
When my mother was 14, she wanted to date this boy who was 17. But my grandparents wouldn’t let her, because they “just don’t trust him”. My mom argues with her parents, but they stand firm on their decision.
Flash forward about 8 years, my mom is happily married. Her parents show her the newspaper, and that boy (grown up now) made the paper: drug-deal gone wrong, armed robbery, double homicide and suicide.
9. “How’s your fish and chips?”
Ugh, I was the girlfriend in question. I had come over to my long distance relationship boyfriend’s apartment on the way out of town. I had dressed in a plaid skirt, fishnets, combat boots, and a low cut black tank because I wanted to leave him with a good memory.
So he’s got me pinned face first against the wall with my skirt flipped up and he’s fingering me when his dad walks in. Apparently he’d come by early to take him to lunch and drop him at his job.
I was absolutely mortified during the entire lunch with his dad, dad’s girlfriend, and my boyfriend.
