11. “Boy, you’re glad to meet me!”
My most awkward meeting (I had met her mom briefly once before) of a girlfriend’s parent(s) was 9 years ago when I was 18. I was sitting on her mom’s couch chatting with my girlfriend while we texted each other dirty things. We would pretend to talk about being seniors, looking forward to graduating, etc, but we were really discussing the dirty and raunchy kind of teenage sex that abstinence only education warned you about.
As we texted more I started to get a little excited, nothing I couldn’t control but damn it felt dangerous and nasty which got the adrenaline flowing. Her mom was in the kitchen the entire time cooking up a meal leaving us to our secret naughty conversation. I told my then girlfriend to put her phone between her legs while it was on vibrate, she did and I called her repeatedly. Watching her get hornier got me hornier, the blood must flow! There was no fighting it anymore, my dick was now hard knowing she was ready for some prime time sexytimes.
Let’s pause for a second and examine this situation, I’m sitting on the couch hard as a rock, she’s sitting next to me with a phone between her legs while I call it repeatedly. What 18 year old guy wouldn’t be aroused? I misjudged one thing, how quickly her mom could prepare an entire meal. Panic time.
Her mom walked in the living room to tell us dinner was done but it had to cool down a bit. She wanted to take this time to get to know me. I had met her once before but only briefly, I’d only said hi to her at this point. She had perched on the arm of the love seat which was at a 90 degree angle to the couch we were sitting on, she sat there like a judging vulture disguised as Bettie Homemaker. Her voice and smile were gentle, but her eyes were fiery and alive like she plucked them from Hannibal Lecter’s head.
“Are you excited to graduate?”
“Yes ma’am.” When I’m nervous I get really polite.
“Are you two hungry? I made enough to feed everyone and send you home with plenty of leftovers.”
“Thank you ma’am.” My boner was about to burst through my pants, my balls were starting to hurt from all the trapped blood.
“Call me Kathy, or mom if you want to.” I’d rather not, in fact, I’d rather be sewing my wild oats in your daughter and praying for crop failure.
“OK Kathy, I’ll remember that.”
“Where are my manners? I almost forgot to mention that we hug in this family.” Oh christ, fuck, please no. Not now at this exact moment. I haven’t had the chance to covertly tuck my cock into the waistband of my jeans!
“Stand up and give me a hug, mister.” No no no no no nononono!
There was no way I have escaped this situation without killing two people and hiding the bodies. I did it. I stood up and hugged this woman. As soon as it happened I could feel my dick press into her, she knew, I knew she knew because she backed away from it, as soon as she did I had an involuntary dick twitch the for a split second pushed it back into her thigh. Fuck.
We parted from our hug, we both tried to be polite, but the shame had set in. Diner was awkward, I wolfed down my food without making eye contact with Kathy. I made an excuse to leave after dinner, went home, rubbed one out, and wallowed in shame and embarrassment.
