16. “I’m unimpressed. Is that all the words you know?”
Not me, but my sister, who graduated top of her class and was an all around great child, went through a rebellious stage where she dated this terrible terrible dude. This guy hardly graduated and was working a shit job and was a borderline alcoholic, and did a number of drugs. Anyways, his family debut was at our family Easter gathering (extended family included) where he came extremely late and drunk. He proceeded to sit and chat with my grandfather, who is a very old fashioned man, and drop every curse in the book. I’ve never seen a more unimpressed look on his face. My dad told my sister to get him and leave. Things were a little sketchy for a long time after until we convinced her to break up with him. That was a rough time on the family.
17. “I can’t believe the check was $69.”
Not a parent, but I met my high school girlfriend’s parents when they returned early from a long walk to find us 69ing on their family room couch. I was calmly, and sternly asked to leave the house.
Then I proceeded to back my dad’s car over a random tool lying in the middle of their driveway, popping a tire and causing a loud clunking noise with every tire rotation. I had already fucked up with her parents, I wasn’t going to ruin my dad’s car and have him kill me too, so I attempted a speedy tire change in the driveway, praying her parents were busy elsewhere.
I couldn’t find which tire had blown or what caused it. One of the front tires seemed flatter so I started changing it. As I did her garage door opens. Her father is in his car attempting to leave for work and I have now blocked his driveway.
He stayed in his running car the entire time I changed the tire. And as I finished, started the car, and began backing out of the driveway again, I heard ‘clunk’ and realised I had in fact changed the wrong tire.
So I pulled to the side of the driveway to let him leave and allow me to change the -correct- tire. Instead, he stayed in his running car, watching me the entire time. He wasn’t going to leave until the dumbass who defiled his daughter on his family room couch and spent twenty minutes changing a wrong tire left his property.
A week later my girlfriend hands me a check from her parents to cover the cost of the tire, as it was their fault for leaving the tool in the driveway. My dad had already bought new tires. So I spent the money on beer.
