1. Not the parent, just the asshole boyfriend
So im not a parent but when I met my girlfriends mom for breakfast I ate the whole family’s sausage and bacon thinking it was the plate they had left for me since I showed up late. They were too nice to say anything.
2. “My fists shook with rage…”
I never thought I would strike a teenager until I saw a boy smack my daughter’s ass in front of me with impunity.
3. “She just won’t let it go!”
My son’s girlfriend just will just not stop singing Let It Go and it is really starting to wear on my son.
I should mention they are 5.
4. “He couldn’t handle my handshake”
When I first met my ex’s Dad, I thought in my young, naive 17-year-old brain that it would be a great idea to go in for a big, manly handshake. He’d broken his wrist in a cycling accident the week before. I can still hear the crack it made in my nightmares. I also may or may not have let him drive himself to the hospital while I had disappointing teenage sex with his daughter.
