12. “U WOT M8????”
Not me, but a friend’s new girlfriend upon meeting his dad: “Yer fuckin old, eh?”
In her defense, she was a Newfie.
13. “She knew it anyway…”
My boyfriend in high school was a senior at a different school, I was a sophomore. At their school homecoming game it was a tradition for all seniors to dress up in camouflage. So my mom first met him when he was dressed head-to-toe in black and white camouflage and wasn’t aware of the tradition. As he was walking toward us she said, “oh god, no.” And didn’t realize I’d heard her.
To be fair, he was pure scum.
14. “You’re a drunk driver? Me too!”
He recounted the story of when he drove home so drunk he lost a tire hitting something, then drove on the rim for at least 4 miles down the interstate.
Thankfully he’s sober now, but is that something you want to talk about the first time you meet me?
15. “MONEY!”
I was working at a pizza place in my teenage years and started talking to this girl. She came over one night when my parents were asleep. My mother is hard of hearing and my father is a rock when he’s asleep. She comes over and we start fooling around and we pass out. I was thinking that since the next day was a work day, she could leave after they left for work.
We wake up and were both naked. So being 17 and looking at a naked girl we start to fool around again. Then I go for the money shot and get some in her eye… She starts crying and saying it hurts a lot. We leave my room to go to the bathroom so she could watch her face.
Now you have to pass the computer room to get to the bathroom and guess who’s sitting there. My mom. She took the day off to pick up my cousin from the airport and was on TMZ.com killing time. Her reaction was quite priceless and humiliating as she turned to say good morning and saw me and this girl she never met before butt naked. And that was the last time she came over my house. Work was pretty awkward after that day too.
