Eric Redding

“I leaned in for our first kiss. It wasn’t awkward, it wasn’t strange, it was just an amazing moment.”

“My wife and I waited until marriage. I was actually my wife’s first kiss. I expected to not last very long, but quite the opposite happened.”

‘Everybody is looking for the right person, and nobody is trying to be the right person.’

“I was from a small town and really sheltered, but had lost both of my parents and my foster family kicked me out at 17. I stole some of her shit, pawned it and made my way to a greyhound bus that took me to a big-ish city.”

“We couldn’t sleep on the bed that night and it was still wet when we woke up early the next afternoon.”

One of my teachers has all the students bring in a picture of themselves so she can put them up on the wall. So, every day I bring in a different picture of Morgan Freeman and put it up on the wall, to replace a kid. Right now there are abut five Morgan Freemans.

We had a 16 year old female and her boyfriend come into the Emergency Room. The girl thought she had had some sort of seizure. In taking her history we realized she had simply had her first orgasm.

“I stopped moving immediately and my eyes darted along the tree line rapidly searching for what was causing me to break out in a cold sweat.”

“I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” —Rita Rudner

“I pine from afar and hope to god he asks me out while simultaneously hoping he never actually finds out I’m interested because oh dear god what if he doesn’t like me back that way?”

“After the shoot is done we go our ways, I’ve rarely spoke to the girls I worked with much because a lot of them are pretty broken and I’d avoid them if I didn’t have debts to pay.”

“I couldn’t feel attracted to him in that way. I felt repulsed when he would touch me.”

He logged into my Facebook and changed my relationship status one day after we started dating as a “surprise”.

“I’ve had a few patients who had 2 potential baby daddies.”

You probably shouldn’t even be reading this.

If you pee in the trashcans and I catch you you will be cleaning that booth and I will be berating you the entire time it takes you.

Until then, I’d only heard of “alcohol showers.” Turns out 70% isopropyl alcohol is about the only thing that can even touch a scent like that once its soaked into your skin.

Okay, the facts that are knowable.