Eric Redding

“I leaned in for our first kiss. It wasn’t awkward, it wasn’t strange, it was just an amazing moment.”

‘Everybody is looking for the right person, and nobody is trying to be the right person.’

One of my teachers has all the students bring in a picture of themselves so she can put them up on the wall. So, every day I bring in a different picture of Morgan Freeman and put it up on the wall, to replace a kid. Right now there are abut five Morgan Freemans.

We had a 16 year old female and her boyfriend come into the Emergency Room. The girl thought she had had some sort of seizure. In taking her history we realized she had simply had her first orgasm.

“I stopped moving immediately and my eyes darted along the tree line rapidly searching for what was causing me to break out in a cold sweat.”

“I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” —Rita Rudner

“I pine from afar and hope to god he asks me out while simultaneously hoping he never actually finds out I’m interested because oh dear god what if he doesn’t like me back that way?”

“I couldn’t feel attracted to him in that way. I felt repulsed when he would touch me.”

He logged into my Facebook and changed my relationship status one day after we started dating as a “surprise”.

“I’ve had a few patients who had 2 potential baby daddies.”

You probably shouldn’t even be reading this.

Until then, I’d only heard of “alcohol showers.” Turns out 70% isopropyl alcohol is about the only thing that can even touch a scent like that once its soaked into your skin.

Okay, the facts that are knowable.

“I’m tired of receiving good whiskey.” – said no man ever.

It could be so much worse.