14 Barely Legal (And Illegal) Life Hacks That Will Absolutely Get You In Trouble If You’re Caught

3373502087_6e15bef54a_o
via Flickr – frankieleon

Found at AskReddit and appearing here with permission.

1. Technically, it isn’t stealing

My dad goes thrift shopping a lot. He always checks coat pockets for money. He has found Ray Ban sunglasses and up to $50.

2. No one will notice this one for weeks

In 8th grade I lived in an apartment and I use to stick a wad of tissue paper up the vending machine change return and every evening I’d reach up there and pull my day’s loot of change down. I’d pocket about $7 per day. People just assumed the machine ate their change.

3. Pretend you’re a part of the event

My grandfather used to stand in peoples yards around state/county fairs or the like with a sign that says parking $5 er probably like five cents back then, and have people pay him to park into random peoples yards. He’d make enough money to go into the fair and have a good day.

4.ย Salad camouflage

College food court. Salad was weighed to determine price. Steak under a pile of salad is an expensive salad but a cheap steak.

5. Very, very old school

For the desperately broke/homeless youth. I used to do this when i was a skate rat. All you needed was a hammer, a quarter, and an older vending machine. Hammer the quarter flatter and flatter till its the size of a silver dollar ($1 coin whatever). Old vending machines obviously don’t have the greatest technology in them and can only read the now flatted coin’s size as a silver dollar. Then hit the coin return. Your quarter just became 4 quarters. Repeat as much as you like. I turned .25 into $30 at one point. Now that I’m older and make good money, I wouldn’t do this BUT if anyone is ever DESPERATELY in need of money/ homeless it definitely helps.

EDIT: bolded

EDIT: Yes this is illegal.

EDIT: I do not encourage you to do this. Obey the law.

Source: Straight from the anarchist cookbook.

6. Hacks for the homeless

Most buffets will bag all the unsold food in a separate trash bag before closing (it’s easier for them that way). If you stand around out back you can grab it while it’s still warm. Try not to be seen, most workers don’t give a shit, but some are weary of a law suit and won’t let you have it.

Also, if you’ve got a few bucks but know your going to be homeless soon, buy the following.

A decent razor

A decent backpack (go for comfort, fuck brands you want something with a waste strap)

A quality pocket knife

A military cot (keeps you dry and relatively un-bit)

A pull up bar. Sounds stupid, but hangers are free and the quickest way out of homelessness is 5 nice unwrinkled shirts.

If at all possible, a phone able to access the internet. Forget service, it’s nice if you can get it but not a necessity. If you can pick up a smartphone with a cracked screen for cheap, that’s your lifeline. That’s craigslist jobs and email your resume office jobs and google maps and lots of other really good stuff. Recharge and surf at McDonalds or Starbucks or whatever is close.

Rope. –edit NOT to kill yourself, life is never that bad. Rope is just good to have around. Small gauge stuff can be used to hang bags of water, put up a tarp if you run across one, replacement shoe laces, repair a busted backpack, hell I even built some make shift shelves with rope and trashed lumber.

–edit again, By popular demand, a Gym membership. If you can afford it a gym membership is a good fix for a hot shower. Not every small town has a gym, sometimes they can get expensive, sometimes they’re just too far away, but it’s definitely worth investigating.

And finally, hygiene. If you stay clean shaven, wash with soap in near by rivers, and brush your teeth, no one has to know and life is 10 times easier.

7. Making a garden from someone else’s

Most perennial garden plants can be propagated by cuttings. That is, you pinch off a stem from the plant and stick it in soil and it grows a whole new plant. We have dozens of free plants from just walking though parks and putting twigs/stems in our pockets. It’s a victimless crime okay!

Some edits are now necessary:

For those of you who are mad at me, please see this comment. Also, consider the fact you are on a thread about illegal hacks.

For those asking how to do this, please see this comment. There are all kinds of extra tips and supplies, but I am assuming that if you’re asking how to do cuttings, then you want an uncomplicated explanation without telling you to buy anything.

There’s no reason to harm the parent plant from which the cutting is taken — don’t tear at the plant. If the plant is small and would miss the piece you want to take, don’t take it. It should look as if you haven’t even been there. I’m talking about if you see a wall of honeysuckle and you take a couple 4″ stems — I’m NOT advocating taking plants from botanical gardens. And by the way for those who have implied that, c’mon this is the internet you must’ve heard of what a “straw man argument” is by now.

8. Global plagiarism

Not heavily illegal and I didn’t think of this, but if you can speak 2 languages and need to write a quick paper, search up a paper covering that topic online in one language and then translate to your current language. Hard to be called out for plagiarism when the original paper is in a different language.

9. Fraud, absolutely, 100%

I had a “boss” a long time ago who told me that if his friends were going on a trip out of state/country, he would give them his debit card to use. The friends would go and buy hotel rooms/food and other things. He’d then, towards the end of their trip, report his card missing. He can prove he was in the area all week, his friends get a free trip to canada, and the bank refunds my “boss” all his money

Edit: Oh, “slightly” illegal.. yeah, this is super illegal

Edit 2: *Credit card, not debit, also I should note this was in the early 80’s he told me. Boss is in quotes because he was more of a supervisor/leader. He also had a scam going where he’d get a fake credit card when he went abroad. This was before they had machines so they had that manual ink and paper thing for receipts. He’d use that for free stuff, and be gone by morning. A very sketchy man

10.ย Pirating the way Dad used to do it

This one is outdated due to obsolete technology, but here’s what I used to do to get high quality movies for the price of a rental.

Rent a VHS. Dub it onto a blank VHS cassette. Next: open the casing on both cassettes using a screwdriver, and simply swap the spools. Return the tape with the poorer quality dub to the video store, and keep the higher quality one for yourself.

Thinking back on that, that was ridiculous.

11. Dispute your ticket with faked evidence

Parking in NYC. I just park at those spots where meters are required, but I don’t usually buy the meter. It’s like $4 a hour in Manhattan. 9 out of 10 times I will get a ticket for missing meter receipt. Now here is the trick, whenever I get a parking ticket, I’d just go to other cars and take a picture of their meter receipt on the dashboard and dispute the ticket online. Works every time.

12. Prepaid Visa cards are untraceable

If you want a new game and don’t really care about the case you can do the following.ย Go and get one of those prepaid visa cards. load it up with say $100.

Spend on it until you have about $4-5 left on it. Take the card to Redbox and select the title you want, use the card to check it out.

Enjoy your new title.

They can’t track it down as it’s basically a nameless card and isn’t tied to you, so you’re basically untraceable. Just remember to not put your email in.

13.ย Take advantage of the checkout personย 

Bulk Bins at grocery store. bag most expensive item, write down code for least expensive item. Works best for nuts. Buy the shelled pistachios and write down the code for the in-shell pistachios. Use the self check out.

works 100% of the time usually because the person working the checkout computer for all checkout lanes is just staring in to space.

14. Dressing the part isย always believable

If you need to get into somewhere you aren’t allowed wear a high visibility jacket and carry a clipboard. People will assume you’re important and let you in. TC mark

Related

More From Thought Catalog

blog comments powered by Disqus