Chrissy Stockton

“Marriage is a bribe to make the housekeeper think she’s a householder.”

Genitals that are tucked up neatly inside your body rather than hanging precariously between your legs.

You may have noticed a trend in this list: all food in Minnesota is a shade of white.

No, not a journey necklace.

He looked me dead in the eye and said in a quiet, steady voice “All the better to stab you with.”

Will you insist that reality is nuanced, or demand that it is black and white?

“She developed her disposable camera film to find a roll of film with numerous pictures of her sleeping at night, on different nights.”

Our dads will take you fishing and hunting. They might even teach you a thing or two.

A man I never knew existed lived in my apartment for months.

“We’re gonna have a great time together Sheryl.”

6. You’ve given up on arguing that the dog cannot sleep in the bed.

To be able to freely make whatever choice they want in regard to dress, politics, work or parenting and without it making them a “good” or a “bad” feminist.

Who would have imagined a country where MLK was assassinated just a generation ago could elect a black president now?

Fashion is not necessarily about labels. It’s not about brands. It’s about something else that comes from within you.

The caller sounds disturbed out of his mind, claiming to have just been dismissed from his job at Area 51 and is now seemingly on the run for his life.

Royals = high school student partying sans student loan payments.

The more you know about him, the more likely he is to come and find you.

Romantic relationships are always drama filled, your BFF is more fun and less work than a boyfriend/girlfriend has ever been.