Thought Catalog

Why Do Men Get So Angry At Women When They Are (Nicely) Rejected?

  • 0

My biggest pet peeve is when people say women are the emotional sex. It’s not true. Men are just as emotional as women (if not more). Anger is an emotion and anyone who knows a modern male knows how irrational and non-sequitur a dude’s anger can be. This is especially true if you’ve spent any amount of time dating — the phenomena of seemingly nice men erupting with anger when you don’t go along with their advances is very real and scary.

A meme Instagram account, Bye Felipe, compiles texts and chat screenshots of exactly what happens when a woman doesn’t give a man the attention he assumes he deserves. It’s super shocking to read some of the submissions — how quickly a guy can go from trying to woo you to calling you words I didn’t think normal people even used. But unfortunately, it’s also pretty ubiquitous. I even contributed a text I got from a guy because his anger outburst was so disproportional to anything that had ever happened between us.

Here are some (sadly normal) examples:

#maleentitlement 👆 #BYEFELIPE

A post shared by Bye Felipe 👋 (@byefelipe) on





This is what happens when we decline politely. #canthavenicethings #BYEFELIPE #YOUAREANASSHOLE

A post shared by Bye Felipe 👋 (@byefelipe) on



This makes so much sense. 👍 #BYEFELIPE #dicks of #tinder

A post shared by Bye Felipe 👋 (@byefelipe) on


Girls have too much freedom! 🇺🇸You have too much sex! 😹lolololol #BYEFELIPE

A post shared by Bye Felipe 👋 (@byefelipe) on

Each of these exchanges reveals something very wrong with the way we view women: once she stops playing the game — stroking the guys ego, serving as a potential love interest or potential sex object — once she is a person with her own agency she is someone to be screamed at, belittled, and threatened.

I can guarantee none of these women were looking to piss someone off or to mess around with an asshole guy. Dating is about meeting strangers and trying to determine if they are good and decent people (and about trying to cover up your own flaws and convince others you are good and decent regardless of the reality). These men, seemingly normal, everyday men, feel entitled to women who act like Barbie robots, and lose their shit when that doesn’t happen. Being treated as sub-human isn’t what anyone signs up for.

After I posted my own “Bye Felipe” text, a commenter said, “God works in mysterious ways.” That’s not the kind of thing I would usually say, but as sad as the reality is, the silver lining is that it opens your eyes to the reality of how many men think — and the necessity of screening them for a long time. TC mark

Cataloged in , ,

More from Thought Catalog

Thought Catalog Videos


    • x21133

      Reblogged this on Enlightening, i'n't it?.

    • http://everydayvictimblaming.com/activism/jeremy-corbyn-and-the-women-only-train-paradox/ Jeremy Corbyn and the women-only train paradox | Everyday Victim Blaming

      […] programs like Law & Order SVU to games like Grand Theft Auto. It happens because men believe they are entitled to women's time. Street harassment continues because we tell men they aren't responsible for their […]

    • http://blog.explodingads.com/kaitai-comments-on-my-positive-experience-as-a-woman-in-tech/ kaitai comments on "My positive experience as a woman in tech"

      […] Going back to the point of the article, the poster says she hasn’t had many bad experiences in tech and so she continues with confidence. She wants to show these good experiences to encourage others. This is a good idea. When it comes to rejecting people, for instance, women hear so many stories or have so many experiences of men taking rejection very badly that they often feel they must reject indirectly to preserve their comfort or safety. https://thoughtcatalog.com/christine-stockton/2014/12/bitches… […]

    • http://dividedline.org/for-future-reference-3/ » For You, Dani

      […] [For anybody who cares, this is a response to a regrettable exchange can be found in the comments section below this article.] […]

    • http://www.confessionsofasexologist.com/index.php/2016/02/02/what-did-you-just-say-to-me/ What did you just say to me?! – Confessions of a Sexologist

      […] and immediately, nonetheless.  These are just a few of the millions of examples on the interwebs: here.  This has actually happened to me.  The struggle is real. People are not required to answer, and […]

    • https://loserpigs.wordpress.com/2016/06/03/sex-crime-news-from-1st-june-to-3rd-june-lai-zhi-heng-26m-cannot-take-rejection-very-well-news-on-362016/ Sex Crime News from 1st June to 3rd June ( Lai Zhi Heng 26M ) Cannot Take Rejection very Well News on 3/6/2016 | loserpigs
    • https://thoughtcatalog.com/xstockton/2016/06/bumble-wrote-a-response-letter-to-the-man-who-threw-a-tantrum-when-a-girl-asked-what-do-you-do/ Bumble Wrote A Response Letter To The Man Who Threw A Tantrum When A Girl Asked ‘What Do You Do?’ | Thought Catalog

      […] of the internet there is a stack of screen shots miles long that detail the tantrums men throw when their manhood is questioned. It’s happened to me — once I happened to fall asleep late at night while texting […]

    • https://thoughtcatalog.com/xstockton/2016/06/bumble-wrote-a-response-letter-to-the-man-who-threw-a-tantrum-when-a-girl-asked-what-do-you-do/ Bumble Wrote A Response Letter To The Man Who Threw A Tantrum When A Girl Asked ‘What Do You Do?’ | Thought Catalog

      […] of the internet there is a stack of screen shots miles long that detail the tantrums men throw when their manhood is questioned. It’s happened to me — once I happened to fall asleep late at night while texting […]

    • https://thoughtcatalog.com/christine-stockton/2016/06/bumble-wrote-a-response-letter-to-the-man-who-threw-a-tantrum-when-a-girl-asked-what-do-you-do/ Angry Baby-Man Threw A Tantrum When A Girl Asked ‘What Do You Do?’, Bumble Responds “This Might Blow Your Mind, But Women Work.” | Thought Catalog

      […] of the internet there is a stack of screen shots miles long that detail the tantrums men throw when their manhood is questioned. It’s happened to me — once I happened to fall asleep late at night while texting […]

    • https://www.findhowto.uk/this-dating-app-heroically-slayed-a-baby-man-who-threw-a-tantrum-because-a-girl-asked-what-do-you-do/ This Dating App Heroically Slayed A Baby-Man Who Threw A Tantrum Because A Girl Asked ‘What Do You Do?’ - How to do everything!

      […] of the internet there is a stack of screen shots miles long that detail the tantrums men throw when their manhood is questioned. It’s happened to me — once I happened to fall asleep late at night while texting […]

    • http://extra-viral.com/2016/06/10/this-dating-app-heroically-slayed-a-baby-man-who-threw-a-tantrum-because-a-girl-asked-what-do-you-do/ This Dating App Heroically Slayed A Baby-Man Who Threw A Tantrum Because A Girl Asked ‘What Do You Do?’ – EXTRA-VIRALS.COM

      […] of the internet there is a stack of screen shots miles long that detail the tantrums men throw when their manhood is questioned. It’s happened to me — once I happened to fall asleep late at night while texting someone I was […]

    • http://mostviral.club/this-dating-app-heroically-slayed-a-baby-man-who-threw-a-tantrum-because-a-girl-asked-what-do-you-do/ This Dating App Heroically Slayed A Baby-Man Who Threw A Tantrum Because A Girl Asked ‘What Do You Do?’ – Mostviral

      […] of the internet there is a stack of screen shots miles long that detail the tantrums men throw when their manhood is questioned. It’s happened to me — once I happened to fall asleep late at night while texting […]

    • http://pressurecookingstar.com/this-dating-app-heroically-slayed-a-baby-man-who-threw-a-tantrum-because-a-girl-asked-what-do-you-do/ This Dating App Heroically Slayed A Baby-Man Who Threw A Tantrum Because A Girl Asked What Do You Do? - A Site for All Things Pressure Cooked!

      […] of the internet there is a stack of screen shots miles long that detail the tantrums men throw when their manhood is questioned. It’s happened to me — once I happened to fall asleep late at night while texting […]

    • http://www.geekdaily.net/internet/this-dating-app-heroically-slayed-a-baby-man-who-threw-a-tantrum-because-a-girl-asked-what-do-you-do/ This Dating App Heroically Slayed A Baby-Man Who Threw A Tantrum Because A Girl Asked What Do You Do? | Geek Daily

      […] of the internet there is a stack of screen shots miles long that detail the tantrums men throw when their manhood is questioned. It’s happened to me — once I happened to fall asleep late at night while texting […]

    • https://datingqia.wordpress.com/2016/10/02/this-dating-app-heroically-slayed-a-baby-man-who-threw-a-tantrum-because-a-girl-asked-what-do-you-do/ This Dating App Heroically Slayed A Baby-Man Who Threw A Tantrum Because A Girl Asked What Do You Do? – datingqia

      […] of the internet there is a stack of screen shots miles long that detail the tantrums men throw when their manhood is questioned. It’s happened to me – once I happened to fall asleep late at night while texting […]

    blog comments powered by Disqus