Charlie Elliot

The next morning I left my apartment to get coffee and there was a giant human turd on my porch with a note that said, “you shit on my heart so I shit on your porch. Fuck you.”

The only guy who would label himself a nice guy is one who is reflecting on an excuse about why he doesn’t get the things he wants.

“If you say you’re from Italy they go ‘Oh, I love pasta!’ What does that have to do with anything? Just because I’m from Italy doesn’t actually mean I’m sitting around eating pasta all day.”

You are constantly counting on your fingers to figure out what time it is for them and what they’re doing.

When we would have sex she would tell me what a piece of shit I was and how I was lucky to be having sex with someone as prominent as her.

8. We disappear on people sometimes. It sucks but that’s what happens when we feel like we need to recharge for awhile. Often after we’ve been particularly hurt or are feeling exhausted from a situation we need time to just be on our own, make sense of what happened, and take care of ourselves in our own way.

He said that he really liked me, and wanted to save something for later, not have all of me at once.

She waited for me outside in her car, took a picture of me when I left the restaurant over an hour later, and quickly drove off.

I swear it’s the moms I’m looking at, not children.

There was blood everywhere and butcher tools on the side. He had put the eyes left over from the corpses on his shelf just aimed at the door.

She put her hand on my belly and said “What’s the matter dear, having a little miscarriage today are we?”

Over the course of the next 2 hours I received over 80 texts, about 10 calls and a couple VMs, all of her crying and saying I need to move in with her and her dad because she’s suicidal and I needed to take care of her.