Callie Byrnes

Maybe I’ll fail to show up for our coffee date and then go weeks without answering a single one of your texts before I hit you up with a “Oh, hey, what’s up?” But, like, that’s not really my fault, you know? I’m a good friend, but I’m also a Pisces.

I AM NEVER SLEEPING AGAIN.

I love when people give me nicknames, even when I say I hate them. There aren’t a lot of fun, cute ways to shorten my name, but there’s still something so intimate when someone finds a way to, anyway. I like the feeling that someone knows me so well that we become an informality; I like knowing that they, and they alone, have a word that stands just for me.

This is the ending the girlfriend and the other girl deserve.

Scorpio: Play mind games. While you might find it fun playing dating games — leaving them on “read”, being secretive, sending cryptic snapchats — Scorpios won’t have it. They don’t like people who seem deceptive and indecisive, which they’ll probably attribute your behavior to. Want to see a Scorpio disappear? Just send them a selfie of you looking fire with a hot dude at a bar and trust me, he’ll be gone in an instant.

Fuckboys are evolving, but women are keeping up.

RIP to this brave man.

Marathon all of Nick Cage’s movies. Every. Single. One.

Can we just stop talking about how much we hate this man for talking about his curvy wife.

Aquarius: You’ve always felt different from everyone else, even if you can’t explain why. You see the world differently, you think differently, you feel differently, and you’re not sure anyone will ever be able to understand you. This can cause you to feel alone sometimes, even when you’re standing in the middle of a crowded room. 

Who’s your Uber driver? Spongebob???

Though neither Bieber or his reps expanded on why the pop star had to end the tour early, there’s a new conspiracy theory why, thanks to The Today Show.

The letter sheds a light on what fans (or at least, what I) truly appreciated about Bennington: his fearlessness when it came to talking about his demons. By opening up about his own, we felt a little less alone with ours.

Cancer: You’re terrified that no one will ever care about you as much as you care about them. You wear your heart on your sleeve and give love so freely without asking anything in return. But what if no one can do the same for you?

The acquaintance who only likes me when I’m drunk. I, too, only like me when I’m drunk, but there is no amount of alcohol that will make me forget all the times you pretended you didn’t know me when I saw you out in public. What, you can’t even wave? Get your beer breath away from me.

They claim they “tell it as it is”, but mostly they just belittle you. Sure, your friend might pride themselves in being “straightforward” or “honest”, but why does that only seem to happen when they’re picking at you? They claim they want to help you by pointing out your flaws, but once it becomes a consistent thing they do, it becomes less about helping and more about hurting.

Virgo: Virgos may seem closed off, but they’re genuinely interested in getting to know the real you. If they ask you a lot of questions about the things you care about or ask for your opinions on the things they’re passionate about, they’re probably trying to feel you out or impress you.

This dude is definitely a Tinder pro.