Callie Byrnes

This is the king of all “wrong number” texts.

Cancer: He’ll want to absorb all your heartbreak. Cancers are one of the most emotional signs in the zodiac for a reason. He’ll coax you to open up and carry your hurt as his own, then wrap you in a warm blanket of his own affection.

Some say the world will end in fire, some say in a ridiculous Facebook Event war.

This will make you look at marriage pacts differently for the rest of your life.

It happened for the first time when I wasn’t paying attention. There wasn’t any monumental moment where I knew. One day I just woke up and it was there: “Oh, I’m in love with you.”  And that was that.

Say goodbye to the hours of painstaking work you put into your brand.

I’m not crying, you’re crying.

No one understands me like Abbi and Ilana do.

It’s all fun and games until you find out you’ve got the same boo.

“The freezer door is heavy. So there’s no way. If they’re saying she’s drunk, she don’t have no strength,” her sister said.

Here are some of the best neon signs that’ll spice up any party and also make you forget that your life is completely falling apart.

Definitive proof that you don’t mess with Texas.

Which dead-and-gone T Swift persona are you?

I guess I just never get the closure I need to move past things, so I have to create my own.

Still too soon.

Maybe I’ll fail to show up for our coffee date and then go weeks without answering a single one of your texts before I hit you up with a “Oh, hey, what’s up?” But, like, that’s not really my fault, you know? I’m a good friend, but I’m also a Pisces.

I AM NEVER SLEEPING AGAIN.

I love when people give me nicknames, even when I say I hate them. There aren’t a lot of fun, cute ways to shorten my name, but there’s still something so intimate when someone finds a way to, anyway. I like the feeling that someone knows me so well that we become an informality; I like knowing that they, and they alone, have a word that stands just for me.