‘Submarining’ Is A New Dating Trend That’s Out To Ruin Your Relationship (And Your Life)

couple walks along the beach holding hands
Unsplash / Joyce Huis

I am honestly so over dating trends. Seriously, what is it with modern dating? We’ve had ghosting, we’ve had cushioning, we’ve had breezing (which is admittedly not terrible), and now we have the worst of all: submarining.

So what is submarining? Just in case the name didn’t give it away, let me explain: basically, it’s when a dude (or girl) goes off the radar for some time before resurfacing in your life, as if they’d never disappeared at all. And trust me, there’s a lot of emphasis on that last part.


What’s baffling about this particular dating “trend” (do we have to call it that???) is that the people who submarine other people don’t acknowledge the fact that they ever disappeared in the first place. Maybe they don’t even think they did. While you were pissed over being ghosted again, it’s possible that they literally had no idea what they were doing. And that’s what makes it so much worse than all the other dating trends.

At least most people who just ghost you at least realize that they did it. If you confront them about it, there’s a possibility they’ll own up to it. But submariners have zero self awareness, meaning they not only didn’t realize they disappeared on you but they had no idea that their actions could’ve hurt you. Do you really need someone like that in your life?

My advice: if someone is submarining you, let that fucker just sink back down into the murky, shady waters that they came from. After all, if they did it once and really had no idea what they were doing, there’s a strong chance they’ll do it again. But hey, the choice is up to you. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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