9 Things You’re Too Old For In Your 20s
Calling spaghetti “pasquetti” isn’t cute anymore. Say “spa.” Now say “ghetti.” Spaghetti.
How To Be A Gangster In 20 Easy Steps
When dining at a fast food joint, ask for a water cup, and then fill it with Sprite. You may be obeying your thirst, but you damn sure ain’t abiding by the law.
Everyone Should Get Rid Of Their Toxic Friends
Only surround yourself with people who bring out the best qualities in you. It sounds corny but it’s true. If you don’t like the way you act when you’re around someone, maybe you should reconsider being around them.
A 200+ Song 90s Hip-Hop Playlist
After getting all cotton candy on y’all last week with the boy band business, I figured this week’s playlist should go a bit harder.
The Overthinker’s Guide To Smoking Weed
This week, I’ll cover smoking weed, an activity that can shift overthinkers into psychological overdrive, taking them down the highway of excessive self-shaming, self-loathing, and mental breakdown.
15 Things Gay Men Should Stop Being Afraid Of
Body fat. Stop being afraid of getting fat so I can just get fat already. Please. Your vanity is holding me back from being the person I want to be.
What It’s Really Like To Be An Alcoholic
When you were young, people would gather at parties to watch you imbibe and exclaim, How does he keep on drinking without getting drunk or sick? This was your training ground.
Confessions Of A Male Cat Owner
Because there’s something considered a little off about a guy and his kitty. In fact, typing the word “kitty” just now gave me a little bit of seizure. But I am here to speak out on our behalf. I will endure the shame no longer. I am a male cat owner, and I want sdfsgar3ea! Sorry. My cat walked across the keyboard.
11 Ways Childhood Has Changed Since The 90s
Now, Sketchers as we knew them are a thing of the past. Instead, toddlers can get their Diane Von Furstenberg fix at Gap, and grow out of it two weeks later. Oscar de la Renta designs for children. A baby walked in a Chanel runway show. I can’t even afford Chanel lipstick.
60 Famous People You Didn’t Know Were Scientologists
Manson took Scientology classes and then murdered a bunch of people, after deciding that Scienology was “too crazy” for him. Process that.
The 20 Best Things That Could Ever Happen To Someone
Getting out of credit card debt and paying off your student loans. (HAS ANYONE DONE THIS YET? YOU LET ME KNOW, OKAY?)
What You Can Do Instead Of Loving Someone You Can’t Be With
Why not begin running, learn to get away, and fast. Or you could read a few novels, is there a more efficient way to stack your life with characters who will eventually leave?
50 Quotes From The Star Wars Prequels, Ranked In Order Of Terribleness
The Classy Joys Of Living Alone
The good news is you can do this naked. In fact, you can do everything naked. Nothing beats cooking naked, getting into bed naked, eating that meal naked, getting up to pee naked, falling asleep naked, and starting the next day in that same naked state.
10 Things Hair Salon Employees Will Remember About How You Act At The Hair Salon
Despite all of the glaring similarities, a hair salon is not a used car lot.
Getting Someone To Fall In Love With You
Do I text you? Do I DM you? Do I tweet @ you? Do I DARE call you? You’ve called me a few times in the past and I remember feeling so shocked and delighted when I saw your name on the screen. I thought to myself, “This man has balls! He must really like me!”
Questions I Have For People In Relationships
It’s funny, because I used to be one of you; all sweaty-palmed and dinner-dated and loved. I was there, where you are, passing holidays at my parents’ house in the bathroom, tapping out Morse code I wishes and I misses to whomever I was sharing a bed and a heart with that year.
10 Things You Learn At A Retail Job
Many of them will take this opportunity to turn on you and hiss about how they’re doing JUST FINE THANK YOU as they shuffle away from you like you were about to mace them.