Trey Salm

Articles by
Trey Salm

The Classy Joys Of Living Alone

The good news is you can do this naked. In fact, you can do everything naked. Nothing beats cooking naked, getting into bed naked, eating that meal naked, getting up to pee naked, falling asleep naked, and starting the next day in that same naked state.

No One Is Original

We all have these stolen quirks. They make up who we are and we can’t help but steal them. My aunt Laura showed me the know-how that real Midwesterners scream obscenities at the opponent and our own team when they suck (which happened a lot growing up in Cleveland.)

Who Cares What Your Stupid Friends Think?

Don’t let your friends or coworkers or your Twitter “followers” tell you otherwise. This isn’t the pool. You don’t need your Mommy to tell to wait 30 minutes after eating to swim. Jump on in. You need to find people, places, and things that are compatible with you.

We Have To Stop Calling Girls “Crazy”

I won’t put the worst of someone else on the internet without agreeing to put the best of them right beside it. I’m talking about us all living in a glass house. Only an idiot goes and throws stones, my bros.

The 4 Times I Force Myself To Clean My Apartment

I like to explode a few Hot Pockets in the microwave, sear some bacon before I dump the grease and pan into my sink (sorry environment), and then crawl into bed covered in cheap pizza sauce and regret.