1. Wrapping Paper There is nothing, nothing, worse than running out of wrapping paper. In some cases, you have to resort to covering your family’s treasured retail items in newspaper. “Positively gauche, father,” your son will say.
Imagine: Dozens of chipmunks, beady eyes glowing like Christmas lights, encircling your house and chanting these words at an ever-increasing volume. “We won’t go until we get some.” You have no figs, no pudding in your cabinets. Only a packet of instant mashed potatoes, a can of beets, and a half-eaten bag of Doritos.
1. Selfie We’ve all taken enough selfies this year that we’ll never, ever, be able to forgot how our face looked in 2013.
There are a lot of big bad things. The world is full of them. They are smeared, and gray, and hovering over us. They hide behind suits, or masks, or collections of cells.
Being ironic, being detached, in a word, being cool feels very important in our uber-fast tech-driven world of slick appearances and curated social media identities.