Today is probably a bit annoying. Make it less annoying.
No matter what time of day it is, autocorrect makes you perpetually sound like a drunken idiot — and possibly a sex criminal.
I don’t feel guilty while I nod as you tell me you want to marry me and have a daughter with a nose exactly like mine. I hate my nose and I never plan to get married but I don’t tell you that, because I am busy thinking of him and how I deserved to hear all this piece of crap from him.
Good grades are hard to get. Traditionally, it means spending countless hours hitting the books in an isolated library cubicle.