I looked at all of the young, attractive people on the train and suddenly became overwhelmed with the sense that this was THE snapshot of my young adult life: Traveling to Bedford on a Friday night to some unknown party while being surrounded by people who look and act just like me.
When I was a kid, I was overwhelmed by the concept of infinity. I’d lie in bed at night, in the dark, and try to picture the infinity of space, each limit in my mind giving way giving way giving way until I achieved a kind of vertigo and my skinny little body would tremble as if in orgasm, a conceptual tantra. It was exquisite.
I imagine that people who see me dancing immediately understand how excruciatingly self-aware I am about it. Then they start to reflect on their own technique. “Do I look like that?” they wonder. “Could I just be jerking around spastically and no one is telling me? How can I ever really know myself? Am I leading a shallow, unexamined life?”