Thought Catalog

Factory-Farmed Hamster

The next eleven days the Factory-Farmed Hamster is force-fed pellets containing the meat/bones/tumors/fur of “fellow, deceased” Factory-Farmed Hamsters grinded—along with their “waste,” which often is scientifically  “not discernable” from their “bodies”—into a kind of paste that is “marinated” 4-8 hours in an antibiotic-hormone mixture and then dehydrated in gigantic microwaves.

Russians Launch Donkey Into the Sky

“They gave this donkey a parachute ride in order to attract holidaymakers’ attention to this sort of entertainment. The parasailing donkey brayed and the children cried, but no one was smart enough to inform the police about the incident…”

Viral Internet Detritus

Dude is wearing… ski gloves in this one, and there’s some popping noise in the background, which, I guess, is Facebook chat (??). Either that or he’s adding intermittent popping sound effects to the video with some third-rate video editor. Also notice that the man is displaying a pipe in his breast pocket—what seems to be a corn cob pipe. Just sitting there…

I Am Love

Could it be that critics missed this undercurrent of female intimacy because they’re so used to seeing women hashed out as shopping-addicted, marriage-crazed bimbos, or exploited as oppressed, self-sacrificing older women/mothers? Score one for nuance.

Inception Tells Avatar to Suck It

Christopher Nolan’s epic masterpiece Inception is just about as narcissistic as movies can get. I mean really: it’s 2 ½ hours long and you have to stay put the whole time or you’ll miss a crucial plot twist. Also: nobody knows what it’s about.