32 Embarrassing Things You’ll Do When You Live Alone
Grabbing things with your toes and transferring them to your hands instead of bending down to pick them up.
Grabbing things with your toes and transferring them to your hands instead of bending down to pick them up.
I know we met on Grindr and all, but can you at least wait until the date is over before you open it back up? Sheesh.
For a few months, we made the whole thing work. We set up times to call each other, I visited her, she visited me, it was fine.
Ladies! The boy is no one’s property. Also, you should be blaming the dude for the confusion, not each other. Wasn’t this song released in 1998, the Year of Girl Power?
You were there through different relationships the way a people weathers different administrations, learning intimately what it is they are looking for and the mistakes they are making — mistakes you know you have to let them make for themselves, just as they allow you yours.
I’m not going to lie to you: A lot of things are your fault.
That last slice of pizza is yours. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.
Are we supposed to be dating? Or are we more like good friends? Special buddies? No, not special buddies, that just sounds awkward. Hmm, maybe this is just about hooking up mostly. So like, are we one of those whatever with benefits type deals?
In the last season, Cory’s name will eventually be revealed as Cornelius. Cory “jokes” that he and Topanga will be keeping the awesome name train alive if they have children. They will name them Chewbacca and Plankton Matthews, which have a nice ring to them, if you ask me.
Does the shirt cover four inches of crotch/thigh area, AT LEAST? Are the leggings somehow embellished to make them more “pant-like”?
“Wait, does Katy Perry hate women?”
Come across something that you don’t need, need — but you’re convinced that you could really use (e.g. new bath towels, a Frappuccino maker, etc.). Place all of them in your cart with the utmost confidence.
There is a deep cultural premium put on the “cool” of indifference in my generation, and it’s a persona that I doubt I could ever even fake. Because I do care, I care so deeply, and I am fairly certain I’m not alone.
One of you may have been the turtle — adding two or three to the bed post every year for the past 10 and the other the hare — wilding out freshmen year in what many describe as a “sexplosion.”
13. Killing Them Softly. The movie slapped with a rare F Cinemascore grade from audiences, mostly because whoever decided to market it to the mass public was an idiot.
If you’re going to take a stranger home for sex, you must know how to get them out of your apartment the morning after. No one likes a one night stand that awkwardly carries on into the next afternoon. And no, blasting “Linger” by The Cranberries is not a good enough hint.
An awkward person with a cell phone in a social environment is the equivalent to MacGyver having a Swiss Army knife while in a bind.
The thing no one wants you to know is that mania is fun. It’s great. It’s how a lot of us function. It’s how a lot of us succeed.