Marisa Donnelly

I want to fall in love with someone who makes me feel young. Young, in the sense of uncontrollable laughter, young in the sense of appreciating the simple things, young in the way we will be silly and childish and celebrate each other, every single day.

You make me see the world in a different light. You make my head spin in circles. You make the corners of my mouth turn upwards and stay frozen, a constancy I’ve never experienced.

You actually become more social. Living alone means if you want friends, you have to go get them. That means actively texting people to come over for dinner and drinks, or putting yourself out there to get invited to go out somewhere.

See, I’d rather be the girl you know felt something real than the girl who pretends you never mattered. Because no matter our outcome, you always mattered, and always will.

Because forgiveness taught me that I am stronger than any pain inflicted on me, and I always will be.

This world is aching and broken. It’s tired and weary. It’s lost sometimes. But that’s not all this world is. This same world that has hate in its heart also has love, so much love.

When we are called to do something by God, we must trust in Him. And we must do it. We must put aside our fears and doubts, our negativity and the negativity of others and trust in something greater than ourselves, no matter where this may lead.

Just because I’ve loved before doesn’t mean that my heart is flimsy and weak. It doesn’t mean that I go around giving it to everyone I meet. It doesn’t meant that my words mean less when they come from a mouth that’s kissed prior to you, or hands that have held other hands.

Live intentionally. Say things that you mean; say things that matter.

Letting go of you meant saying goodbye to the girl I was with you. And welcoming a new girl in.

Listen. There’s always going to be something that you’re not ‘enough’ of. There’s always going to be some part of you that won’t measure up to perfection because guess what? You’re not perfect.

I keep putting you in this box, keep labeling you as something you’re not, something I can believe in. I keep thinking, every single time, that things will change, that things have changed, that things were never as bad as they were.

But maybe I’ve just been blind.