I have been in love before. I’m not ashamed to say it. I don’t wince as those words leave my lips, I don’t feel guilty, and I won’t lie to you about my past.
I’ve been in love before. I’ve given a man my heart because I thought he deserved it and because I wanted to give it to him. Because he made me laugh, made me rethink the world, made me slow down, and made me feel beautiful. Because he made me believe in love again when I didn’t think I would. Because he saw a part of me that I didn’t see in myself and made that part shine.
And even though things didn’t go the way we both planned, even though we drifted miles and miles apart, both literally and metaphorically, I still cared for him. And I’m not ashamed of that.
But please don’t be afraid to love me, just because I’ve loved before.
See, loving you holds no comparison to my past. Those that I’ve had feelings for, before you are exactly that, before you. You don’t have to measure yourself up to the people of my past, you don’t have to worry about where you fit, you don’t have to feel like you’re always chasing some old love of mine.
Because those past loves are a part of the past, and I’m looking forward.
I’ve loved before. I know that’s scary. But that just means I know how to love. It means I’m not afraid to tell you how I really feel, or what’s actually on my mind. It means I’m not afraid to be vulnerable with you and show you the parts of me that are timid and shy, bold and stubborn, messy and imperfect. It means that I will hold you to higher standards, yes, but I will hold myself to those same standards.
It means that I am not afraid to fall, because I know what falling feels like, and as scary as it is it’s a beautiful feeling. One that I want to experience with you.
Just because I’ve loved before doesn’t mean that my heart is flimsy and weak. It doesn’t mean that I go around giving it to everyone I meet. It doesn’t meant that my words mean less when they come from a mouth that’s kissed prior to you, or hands that have held other hands.
My heart is strong, my hands are selective and my eyes are only for you, so please stop worrying your head over what’s happened to me in the past. I will love you because you are you and nothing and no one from before could ever compare to that.
Trust me when I say that you matter. Trust me when I say that this feels different. Because it is. It’s not the same kind of love I’ve experienced and never will be. Every love is different. So trust me when I say that I’m feeling a spark with you. Trust me when I say that I have butterflies or that my heart is skipping or that this matters. Because it does.
And it’s like nothing else, I promise you.
Just because I’ve loved before doesn’t make the moments we’ve shared any less important, any less special, any less significant, any less beautiful.
These are our moments, our love, our life together.
And I can’t wait to spend it with you.