For Every Girl Who Doesn’t Feel Like She’s Enough

YellowBecky
YellowBecky

Here’s the thing. What is ‘enough’? It’s this abstract idea, this unmeasurable concept, this strange way of labeling and defining and putting ourselves into boxes of how and where we fit with the rest of the world.

But what is ‘enough?’

Enough what—pretty enough, strong enough, kind enough, patient enough, funny enough, social enough, outgoing enough, smart enough.

Listen. There’s always going to be something that you’re not ‘enough’ of. There’s always going to be some part of you that won’t measure up to perfection because guess what? You’re not perfect.

You’re always going to be a little too loud and not enough street-smarts. Or stubborn and not enough patience. Or too calm and not enough spark.

There’s always going to be some tiny part of you that doesn’t exactly fit the box that someone else wants to put you in. But you know what, f*ck that box.

You are you.
And you are enough.

You have to realize this about the world—it’s continually trying to shape you, trying to mold you, trying to change you. There’s nothing wrong with growing and becoming new, but you can’t look at your life like it’s forever coming up short. You can’t see yourself as merely a collection of flaws, never being worthy, never being right, never being enough.

Because there will be plenty of people and moments and times in life when you don’t measure up. But thousands more where you will.

It’s time to shed the expectations that the world puts on you and make your own. It’s time to disconnect from toxic people that continually find fault with who you are. It’s time to pull away from relationships where you feel like you’re in a constant battle to be in that person’s favor.

It’s time to realize that you are enough. And you’ve always been enough.

Don’t worry about love. Love will come, and the right person will know that you cannot be perfect, and won’t try to put you in a box of perfection. The right person will love you in spite of your flaws, because of your flaws, and even love your flaws.

The right person won’t keep a tally of all the ways you don’t measure up to his/her expectations. The right person will love you because you’re simply you. So don’t worry about love.

And don’t worry about this world. You will never be enough for every single way of this world and that’s okay.

You are enough in your being. Your quirky, flawed, imperfect being. You are enough with your smile. You are enough in how you take on the world, how you never give up, how you keep on pushing, even when the world pushes you down.

Listen. You are enough. So please remember this and walk with your head held high. TC mark

Marisa Donnelly

Marisa is a writer, poet, & editor. She is the author of Somewhere On A Highway, a poetry collection on self-discovery, growth, love, loss and the challenges of becoming.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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