Kelly Douglas

I savor you from afar, relishing in every moment you remain nestled in the deepest reaches of my mind, but I long for you to arrive at midnight, our hearts beating as one as we reunite.

Instead of harping on the negative aspects of every blessing in your life, seek out the positive. 

2018, thank you for the struggles. You’ve tested every iota of our internal strength.

Life will wrap you in security again. 

Stay grateful for the winds that blow against you. 

Wait for a man who sees you in his future; whose heart will beat for you alone.

I walk through the streets and my body feels like a New York winter and I’m limping like an injured deer and my legs are frozen and my nose is frozen and my entire being is frozen and everything is numb, numb, numb and I stumble around like a drunken sailor and you say you’ll love me through it.

It was you. It was, is, and always will be you.

When I’m struggling with mental illness, I’m not particularly enthusiastic about my life circumstances, but I don’t necessarily let on that I’m having difficulty, either.

You will reach her soft center bit by bit; delighting in her nectarous pleasures as she cautiously opens herself to your love.

Date a man who gets excited about you; whose burning passion for you is abundant, apparent.

She adores him but does not need him, refusing to compromise on her dreams, insisting he pursue his.

You are my greatest joy and my deepest fear intertwined as I love you and pray not to lose you, wishing we could love each other without reservations.

Thank you for teaching me that love is patient. 

Every fiber of my being itches to reach out to you, to talk with you, to catch up with you.

It’s complacency. It’s resignation. It’s acceptance.

Being the highly empathetic friend with anxiety, however, is often far more complicated than simply listening to friends’ problems and offering a shoulder to cry on.

To the world, I was “The Girl Who’s Always Smiling.” However, I discovered a dark truth enshrouded behind my perpetual haze of lip-glossed smiles and melodic laughter.