Kara Nesvig

Cleopatra was said to have soaked her ship sails in perfume so everyone could smell her arrival.

I have come to the staggering, heart-stopping realization that I, Kara Nesvig, am a total Monet. You know what I mean, right? You’ve seen “Clueless.” Need your memory jogged? Here, I’ll set the scene. Tai: Do you think she’s pretty?

CHRISTIAN GREY PULLS A TAMPON OUT OF ANA.

When my headaches were at their worst, I was also drinking an average of two Starbucks venti sweetened iced coffees a day, one in the AM and one around 4 PM.

I haaaaaaate the gym. I practically break out in hives I hate it so much.

Don’t take boiling hot showers or baths.

As Kanye says, you’re not perfect, but you’re not your mistakes.

In the ‘70s, a young hitchhiker named Colleen was picked up by a California couple, Cameron and Janice Hooker. They kidnapped her and held her for years as a sex slave, often forcing her to live in a small coffin-like box under their bed for up to 23 hours a day.

This Italian killer turned her (female) victims’ bodies into SOAP. Oh, and tea cakes.

Gift cards are lame – we can do better.

The Year of Magical Thinking.

“Birds” by Neil Young.

Dry shampoo doesn’t just mop up grease and freshen up your hair; it’s great to add volume to limp hair too.

Get your own place. Living alone can really help you understand yourself. You’ll have to handle things like leaky faucets by yourself.

Please tell me I’m not the only one who is really into haunted houses and creepy places? I know I’m not!

Oh, yes, it’s Halloween time again.

Do this! Don’t do that. No, wait, don’t do that either.

You’re allowed to eat whatever you want with no one to judge you. If that’s Pizza Rolls dipped in Nutella, big deal. What happens in your apartment stays in your apartment.