January Nelson

His body was almost mummified because of the lack of sun, air and moisture. I can’t imagine what the smell was like.

Different people prioritize different things.

Pisces: They’ll try to break up with you several times because they can’t gather the courage to go through with it.

Slackbot might feel advanced sometimes, but I have to remind myself he’s like any other chatbot.

VIRGO: You lose your filter. You say the first thing that pops into your head without worrying about hurting feelings. 

“Technically, I pulled myself over.”

Your flirting could use some work.

Do yourself a favor and find someone new.

CANCER: He isn’t sorry he hurt you. He’s sorry you’re not around to feed his ego anymore.

Hugs and affection with no ulterior motive. Sometimes I like to be held without feeling like he’s wanting to fuck me.

I wish I realized the phrase I’m not ready for a relationship right now is misleading. It doesn’t mean, if you stick around long enough, he’s going to turn around one day and decide to date you.

ARIES – You get a new tattoo, get a new piercing, or dye your hair a different color. You try to change yourself into a different person, one you like better.

Insist on speaking to me on the phone when it could be easily done by text.

You suck at communicating your feelings. 

Jeffrey Dahmer… towards the end right before he got caught, had so many bodies in his apartment that he ran out of room and stored one victim in his bathtub. He proceeded to shower over him everyday for a month!

You’ve been sleepwalking through your days. You only exist to eat, sleep, and work. 

Your young years should not ever be the best years of your life.

GEMINI: You get extra sentimental. You say I love you a lot. All you want to do is cuddle.