Holly Riordan

You can’t stop yourself from thinking about him — but you can stop yourself from texting him.

You shouldn’t have been an asshole to someone you expected to stay. 

Make her coffee to drink as soon as she wakes up.

Play the big spoon some nights — and the little spoon other nights. 

You cannot start arguments about how they clearly don’t give a shit about you, simply because they aren’t showing you affection in the specific way you prefer affection.

You aren’t sure whether you’re completely wasting your time on this person or whether they simply need a little nudge. You aren’t sure whether you’re fighting for something worthwhile or something wasteful. You aren’t sure whether your heart has the right idea or whether you should start the healing process.

The thing about toxic relationships is that you’re not going to leave them the same way you entered them. You’re not going to be the same carefree, fun-loving person. You’re going to be less trusting, less adventurous, less open. 

Reminding yourself why you left when you’re feeling lonely is the hard part. Convincing yourself you did the right thing, even though you feel like you’re falling apart inside, is the hard part. 

It’s so much easier to let yourself fall apart than it is to piece yourself back together again, to pull yourself off the ground, to feel whole. Complete. At peace. 

You have to remind yourself that you’re strong enough to get through this, strong enough to make it until tomorrow, and strong enough to make it until the day after that.

In 2020, wear your heart on your sleeve. Speak authentically. Love loudly.

Sometimes, you need to let your worries take a backseat. You need to ignore your doubts, your fears, your what-ifs. You need to take a chance on yourself, even though you’re not completely sure of yourself, even though you have doubts, even though you aren’t positive whether you’re making the right move or making a mistake. 

It’s better to be single than to force a relationship to work. To force your person to pay attention to you. To force yourself to believe everything is going to turn out okay. 

If learning to love yourself sounds like too big of a leap from where you are right now, you can start by learning to give a shit about yourself.

Stop with the bullshit about how there isn’t anyone in this world meant for you.

Toxic humans are dangerous, not just because of the way they treat you, but because of the way they treat others. There’s a strong contrast between the way they act with you and the way they act with everyone else.

You deserve better than someone who is unable to see your value. Someone who was perfectly fine with stringing you along, even though they knew you were going to end up hurting, even though they knew they were doing the wrong thing, even though they knew it was selfish. 

In 2020, don’t date anyone who won’t prioritize you. Don’t date anyone who makes you fight for their attention. Don’t date anyone who makes you feel like you’re not good enough for them. Don’t date anyone who puts in a significantly smaller effort than you do.