Putting effort into your relationship means more than planning dates. It means more than sending the first text. It means more than checking in with your person to make sure they’re doing okay.
Putting effort into your relationship also means making sure your own mental health is okay. It means putting effort into taking care of yourself. It means putting yourself high on your list of priorities.
When you enter a serious relationship, you shouldn’t suddenly stop caring about everything aside from your person. You shouldn’t dedicate all of your time and attention to them and leave none left for yourself. You don’t have to choose one over the other. You don’t have to sacrifice your wants and needs for them. If you’re in the right relationship, you should have enough energy for them — and for yourself.
You can never stop working on yourself, never stop putting effort into yourself, never stop checking in on yourself.
You deserve to feel whole, even when your person isn’t in the room. You deserve to feel successful and fulfilled. You deserve to feel like you actually have your shit together.
Even though you love them and want to give them everything they deserve, you can’t allow your entire life to revolve around them. You can’t forget about your own happiness because you’re too busy trying to make them happy. You can’t live in order to please them. You have to live for yourself, too.
If you spend too much time bending over backwards to please them while ignoring your own needs, then you’re going to burn yourself out. It’s going to be easier for you to give your person what they need if you take care of your own needs first.
Besides, you can’t expect your forever person to stick with you no matter how you treat yourself. No matter how many mistakes you make. No matter how much you spiral. You can’t expect their love for you to overshadow everything. They aren’t going to stay if you’re treating yourself terribly. They aren’t going to stand by and watch you destroy yourself. They love you. They want to watch you shine, not suffer.
Part of a healthy relationship is keeping yourself healthy. You have to work on yourself. You have to take care of yourself. You have to put effort into bettering yourself.
You have to be proud of the person you are when your partner is in the room, and the person you are when they’re miles away from you.
No matter how much you care about your person, no matter how much love they deserve, you have to remember you matter, too. You deserve love, too. From your person and from the person staring back at you in the mirror.
Your relationship isn’t going to stay strong unless both of you are strong, so please, don’t spend so much time taking care of them that you forget to take care of yourself. Don’t forget to leave a little love for yourself.