You worked hard to get where you are. You woke up at 6 AM. You worked through your lunch breaks. You listened to the teacher drone on in class. You forced yourself to be productive when all you wanted to do was fall back asleep.
Dried blood was crusted over the letters. I had to pick it off with the tip of my thumb, because it wouldn’t rub away with a cloth.
Imagine watching fireworks at Disney with your forever person.
You were unexpected. Untamed. Unpredictable. I never knew what would happen when we were together. If our conversations would lead to dinner at the diner or to me escaping to the bathroom for a cry.
You care more about others than yourself. You think with your heart, but it isn’t your heart that you’re worried about. It’s everyone else’s hearts. You don’t want them to be sad. You want to bring them joy — even if that means you’re forced to suffer.
You’re going to accuse him of things he’d never do. And you know he’d never do them, but that doesn’t matter. That doesn’t silence the paranoia in the back of your brain. And when you make unfair accusations, he’ll get offended. He’ll hate that you don’t trust him.
One day, you’ll have someone to break up the monotony. Someone to hold your hand while ice-skating. Someone to squeeze your thigh at the movie theater. Someone to drag you onstage at a karaoke bar and take the wheel during a road trip and spoil you at your favorite restaurant.
Almost relationships mean disappointment. They mean getting your hopes up and having them come barreling down. They mean letting your high expectations drop miles below their original level. They mean wasted time and tears and unanswerable questions.
Don’t start by telling him how badly you want him inside of you. Start with subtle comments about how you’re just stepping out of the shower or how you’re taking your clothes off and getting into bed. Make him imagine your naked body.
Whenever he makes promises, he keeps them.