Holly Riordan

You’ve complained to your friends about him being too nice.

I had a few friends over and we jumped into a game of Never Have I Ever. My soulmate was drunk enough to answer honestly. About how he’d had sex in a moving car before. About how he’d shoplifted before. And about how he’d shot someone before.

Your boyfriend is going to have female friends. Your boyfriend is going to have exes. If you can’t handle hearing him talk about another woman, then you’re going to have some serious problems.

Buy chocolate body paint to lick off of him, edible underwear to tear off of him, or a ball gag made of candy to stuff in his mouth.

“The person we found wasn’t really identifiable as a human being, just a pile of meat. What gave it away were the scraps of clothing mixed into the pile.”

When there’s a lull in conversation, your love drowns out the sounds of silence. You’re at peace when he’s by your side.

You fall for every single guy that shows you the slightest bit of kindness, even if it’s an average looking stranger that was nice enough to hold the door open for you.

Virgo: You overanalyze everything in life. You can never shut your brain off.

Defend yourself. You shouldn’t need a man by your side to protect you when something goes wrong. You should know how to kick ass on your own.

Date someone that will pull you closer when you’ve had a bad dream and will stay awake with you until you’ve calmed down.

It feels like the world is trying to squeeze me out of it. Like I don’t belong there. Like there’s no point in trying to swerve past all the barriers that the universe has plopped down.

You feel a rush whenever they touch you — even if they touch you in a harmless spot, like on the back of your hand or your elbow.

“I’m willing to let your child wither and die inside you if that’s what’s required.”

If you can’t think of anything to say and send “lol” without much else, he’ll still find a way to continue the conversation.

Libra: He doesn’t dirty talk often, but his brain is filled with filthy things he wishes he could say to you. Things that would make you gasp (or moan) if you actually heard them.

Even if the room is empty, they’ll sit as close to you as humanly possible.

I flirted with you and you flirted right back. So why didn’t we end up together? Why did we get caught in a game of bashfulness and banter if it wasn’t going to lead to something more? Why did we hover on the edge of commitment without ever tumbling over the side?

You feel like he’s pushing you forward — not like he’s holding you back.