Eric Redding

Every hometown has a dark secret. What’s yours?

“Suddenly there is a pretty heavy, non-churchy beat pounding through the loudspeakers…Y’all, the groom RAPPED his vows, and not well, he even took a moment to make sure the crowd were on their feet!”

“I saw the ‘white light’ but it was a white party in a big room on a beautiful day and as I was trying to walk to the doors something kept pulling my hand. When I looked it was a 6-8 year old beautiful little girl…”

“If you spot a little girl roaming the hallways or outside the building, take note of her appearance. Check for an unusual amount of canine teeth. The Pest has hundreds of teeth.”

“People say euthanizing is illegal for humans in the U.S. but as a nurse…I have killed people.”

If you want to go from being a nice guy to being a good guy, you have to push past this idea that “getting the girl” will solve everything.

A roommate I had in college was a strange guy. This guy came from the other side of the country (I’m US). He went out at all hours of the night, never showed up for class, slept during the day, and drank more energy drinks than is healthy. His parents were worried about him, apparently, and hired a PI to trail him.

There are some things even eye bleach can’t fix.

Your own dating life is about to look a whole lot better.

“They’re ancient people. They’re ah…they’re dying, it’s past their time or age. They’re looking for ah…a way to survive and they just can’t.”

“Nurse here. Retired after 27 years on the job. The number of American 20-somethings that don’t know if they’re circumcised or not is surprisingly high.”

“There’s a lady…. she killed the kids…. they have to stay in the woods now.”