Eric Redding

“I won’t do a long term relationship with a condom. Straight up dealbreaker status, that’s how different it feels to me.”

“There’s nothing worse than walking down a street, minding your own business, when you feel the sticky warmth of blood running down your legs, safe in the knowledge that you have forgotten to pack any sanitary products, and recently spent the entirety of your money on christmas presents.”

“I leaned in for our first kiss. It wasn’t awkward, it wasn’t strange, it was just an amazing moment.”

“My wife and I waited until marriage. I was actually my wife’s first kiss. I expected to not last very long, but quite the opposite happened.”

‘Everybody is looking for the right person, and nobody is trying to be the right person.’

“I was from a small town and really sheltered, but had lost both of my parents and my foster family kicked me out at 17. I stole some of her shit, pawned it and made my way to a greyhound bus that took me to a big-ish city.”

Back in high school, my boyfriend at the time stopped in the middle of it to look down at me and seductively whisper “damn….you do look just like your mom.”

“We couldn’t sleep on the bed that night and it was still wet when we woke up early the next afternoon.”

One of my teachers has all the students bring in a picture of themselves so she can put them up on the wall. So, every day I bring in a different picture of Morgan Freeman and put it up on the wall, to replace a kid. Right now there are abut five Morgan Freemans.

We had a 16 year old female and her boyfriend come into the Emergency Room. The girl thought she had had some sort of seizure. In taking her history we realized she had simply had her first orgasm.

“I stopped moving immediately and my eyes darted along the tree line rapidly searching for what was causing me to break out in a cold sweat.”

“I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” —Rita Rudner