18. She Bought A Milkshake Afterward
Used to work in an ice cream shop located directly off a highway. Because of its location people would often use our pretty large parking lot to carpool, turn around, meetup, etc.
One day, I see this SUV come into our lot very quickly and park. A few minutes later another vehicle parks next to her. Both parties exit their vehicle and begin screaming at each other. The woman then opens the trunk of her SUV and starts unloading a TON of stuff. Boxes and boxes of stuff. Way more than this guy knew what to do with. More yelling. Woman gets in her SUV and pulls up closer to the shop, gets out and buys a milkshake.
19. The Other Woman
I was with a friend eating breakfast at this little restaurant on Marco Island in Florida. We were the only two in there except for this nervous 40ish looking woman. Soon after an angry rich looking 60ish man joined her and the most uncomfortable breakfast of my life began. He sat down at her table and just lit into her. Apparently they were having an affair, it ended and then the woman showed up to a Halloween party at his house. Things I remember from the conversation: ” what kind of idiot shows up to a party that’s hosted by the man you’re fucking’s wife? ” and ” You look like shit when you cry” and “my daughter asked who you were!” and ” for god’s sake eat some food, you look like you’re starving to death” and ” IT’S OVER, whateverhernamewas.”
She cried through the whole thing. It was so painfully awkward to watch.
20. Lasagna
Oh my yes. I can even remember what table they were sitting at (552, up in the atrium). Dinner started pretty cold, she was obviously upset about something. She ordered appetizers but didn’t touch them.
The salad, breadsticks and appetizers just sat on the table while they argued like crazy… though she did down TWO strawberry daiquiris (might have been margaritas, not 100% on that, but two big premium drinks).
When the food came, I don’t remember what he had, but she had lasagna, and that comes out screaming hot. When I dropped the plates on the table, she lost it. She picked up her plate, tipped it, and slid it down his pants. No amount of dancing makes you look when you’re trying to peel 190-degree molten mozzarella off your crotch, as the sauce soaks through.
She stormed out, he’s stuck with a $50 tab for food he literally never even touched.
Manager comped the meal just to get him the hell out of there without suing us for burning him. Dude got $60 in free food, didn’t even drop a nickel on the table for my trouble. Still, totally worth it in a pay-per-view perspective.
