Charlie Shaw

If your dude is a man child, then he’ll have grand ambitions, ambitions he mentions, sporadically and vaguely, while smoking a joint. And ambitions he has never once acted on.

I worked in a steak restaurant and my co worker lost her ID at the bar next door one night after work, one week later a girl came in and tried to order a drink from the bartender using my co workers ID. Busted!

Our company had a little person working in the head office.
She got fired because she hid inside a paper recycle bin and scared some employees.

“Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?”

Bill Murray stole $20 from me. Not in the sense that I saw a bad movie of his and decided he owed me for my time and money spent, but that he actually grabbed a $20 bill from my hand, put it in his pocket, said the words “no change” and went on his merry way.

Sister in law only bought a windshield wiper for the driver’s side.

I know a girl who is living in Oregon waiting for her stepfather to get out of jail so that they can get married. He’s in jail for having a relationship with a minor (her).

I absolutely need to control the wireless router. Try to make this a criteria when looking for a room. I also talk to myself using radio procedure. “Alpha six Charlie, be advised, sandwich is coming up, ETA four mikes. Copy that alpha six bravo; we’re waiting for it. Over.”