We have a serial pooper. He/she has pooped in the hallway and in the stairwell. I’m not sure of the motivation behind the poops.
We had a sudden rush of work and were forced to bring in some questionable temps. One day I walk into a caged section of the warehouse and find one of the female temps having sex with two guys while two more watched. HR was busy that day!
We had a woman disappear, like seriously.She was working one day, normal day, a Tuesday if I remember nothing out of the ordinary. Usually people go home around 4:00, the stragglers can stay till 5:00 sometimes. That day the director here stayed till 5:00 and the other lady was still here, said she had some work to finish up and would see her tomorrow. When the director arrived at 7:00am, she found a note under her door that the other lady had resigned. Looking in the lady’s office it was completely cleaned out. She left no contact info. Nobody knew what was up, calls to her personal line went unanswered and then the line was disconnected, her bank account was closed as well, so her final Direct Deposit bounced as it had nowhere to go. She had closed her apartment lease early that morning, paid in cash according to police who were called as it just all seemed fishy.
As far as I know nobody has any clue where she is.
One of the workers got really wound up by a manager, and attacked him. The worker is tall, in good shape, mid-late twenties; the manager is average height, average build, late thirties. The worker did not know that the manager is a black belt in something or other. The manager held nothing back when he defended himself, and he literally beat the shit out of the worker. Not figuratively. The worker soiled himself while being beaten up by a smaller, older man.
The craziest part? Both of them still work there.
We had someone come into work after a mysterious 2 weeks off that we were all kept in the dark about. This guy finally came into work, everyone started saying, “Wheeeeere have you been then?!” Etc…He ignored everyone, walked straight up to his manager and punched him in the face. Turned around and walked back out. Not one word.
Back when I was in retail a guy did a quick grab of some merchandise and ran out one of our fire exits and attempted to run across the highway. Hit by TWO cars. He lost his life over a stack of CDs.
It got really hot in lab in the summertime (no AC – Europe) and 4 liter bottles of ether started bursting because some over eager undergraduate had filled them past the fill line and they expanded. Everyone was high.
One of our salesmen was a pedophile. I watched half a dozen US Marshalls come in to his office next to mine and arrest him one morning.
Someone nagged so much about everything being absolutely perfect, like nitpicking every single thing (why is the tape dispenser not in its outlined area/ why didn’t you highlight this in yellow, biochem is yellow!). So one day she was really on a roll, going on and on and on and this guy has had ENOUGH. He yells “WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP” and punches a hole in the wall.
I swear to God, he punched a hole right through the wall. What’s crazier is that the next day, he brought in plaster to seal it up. There’s still cracks and a dent in the wall.
Worked at the Goth store in the mall for several years. Probably the worst of the craziest things was an assistant manager who had sex with an employee in the store after hours, filmed it, then started showing it to his friends and other employees on the clock. Yes, he was fired.
People had sex in the dressing rooms at least 2 or 3 times a year. Had a bunch of exhibitionists try on racy clothing and open the dressing room door so people could see them exposed. One guy masturbated into women’s shoes in there before we caught him. Welcome to the mall.
When I ran a Blockbuster a bag of pot fell out of a stoner kid’s pocket while checking out. He claimed he had never seen it before and left it on the ground. I gave it to the staff.
Working at a dry cleaners. 5 Oclock-ish. 10 people waiting to be helped. Some random guy walks in, see line, heads for back of store. picks up items, scans them, checks them out, pays, leaves.
nobody notices. Boss calls everyone in and shows us security cam footage of ghost customer. Everyone shits bricks.
In the drive thru at a fast food place I worked at, a lady who was a regular (very often, and usually a huge order). They had to make her food, so we “parked” her, which is when you tell them to pull up 25-30 feet ahead of the line, and we bring the food out to them.
She died. While waiting for her food. Turns out she went into cardiac arrest and she never woke up, and it was really fucking awkward.
My old job was run by a married couple, crazy shit went down between them ALL the time, more often than not in front of us employees.
One incident that springs to mind was when the husband finished off an argument by throwing a laptop across the room at her head that only narrowly missed after an argument over where the wife should hold the interviews that were scheduled for that day.
I worked for a Japanese company in Tokyo. Boss came into the office at 8pm drunk and threw up everywhere. He disappeared a week after the incident and finally returned to work with a broken arm and a cut-up face.(probably went out drinking again after that and fell down the stairs?)
On a business trip my department head picked up a prostitue in Times Square, and literally got caught with his pants down when a coworker went over to his room to return a phone charger.
That place was run like a mediocre frat house.
I work in an assisted living home in the dining rooms and one day a coworker was serving one of the (meanest) residents, when he looks at her and says, “I think I’m dying.” He proceeds to collapse on the table. Coincidentally, there were already EMTs in the building, so they laid him on the floor of the dining room and used the defibrillator on him, restarting his heart. He still lives there and he’s an even bigger dick now than he was before. You’d think dying and coming back to life would change a person for the better, but he still frequently yells at us and calls us incompetent. Oh yeah, he was a minister before he retired.
Worked at a Five Guys. Guy came in, didn’t order food, cut himself with a piece of broken glass, called the cops on himself for cutting himself, cops and paramedics arrive.
Professional wrestler. I once saw a pretty famous wrestler (no names being used) surf down a flight of stairs on an ironing board. Like, the entire way down without falling. It was god-damn majestic.
Also, a promoter I worked for wore a toupee. Someone stole it while he was sleeping, nailed it to the ceiling then stole the only ladder in the building.
I once saw a cook catch a rat with his bare hands, it bit the shit out of him, so naturally he responds by biting the rats head off spitting it on the ground and throwing it like a hand grenade. There was a lot of screaming, one of the new girls walked out.
A few months after I started working here, someone got fired and then proceeded to call back and leave some form of legit terroristic threat that forced the entire building to be closed the next day.
I worked at a plant nursery / landscaping company during the summers in college. Two illegal immigrants worked with us. One of them beat the other with a bolt cutter, then ran over his leg with a forklift.
They were both deported.
During college, I worked as a secretary for a very small company…3 total people. My boss was cheating on his wife with a much younger woman who was also married. One day, he took his mistress to a different city to help her get her visa renewed. Her husband figured out where our office was and came looking for them. I was the only person in the office at the time when this crazy, giant Russian guy comes in screaming at me, asking, “Where are they?” I told him I had no idea where they were as I’d just gotten to work. He continued to scream and threaten me until I used the office phone to call my boss. He snatched the phone out of my hands and screamed at my boss about how he was going to find him and kill him. Then he threw the phone at me and stormed out. I was terrified and the building, which housed other small companies, went on lock-down and someone called the police. A rumor went around that the guy had a gun, but I never saw one. He never came back and I never heard from him again. My boss continued his affair for a few years until his mistress moved away.
A girl I worked with at a clothing store was called into the office for some minor issue and when the girl got to the office she broke down and confessed to stealing like 2,000 dollars worth of merchandise. The manager had no idea, but ended up pressing charges.
I use to work at a big retail chain in the UK, one day about 11.30 in the morning I walked through the shop to find a big steaming turd right on the middle of the floor, it stank so bad and we had to clear the shop for a good hour to get rid of the smell.
I yelled at a bum sleeping in my hotel’s parking lot. He jumped up, pulled a sawed off shovel out of his pants and chased me down the street with it.
I used to be a librarian at a public library. After a couple of the cleaning crew began finding used condoms around the area, we were required to be more vigilant and our security team made more rounds.
One night, I walked by the stacks and caught two girls and a guy having sex on one of the study desks. They were just totally going at it. Obviously they got reported, but then the fun part came as the police got in the action. Apparently one of the girls was a prostitute and was “training” the other girl with the john they were with. It then came out that her pimp was also around in the library as well and there were other prostitutes as well.
I was a janitor at an elementary school and I had to vacuum the office every day. One day as I’m about to enter a conference room in the main office Bob, the head night janitor, tells me to just skip that one because a kid threw a tantrum earlier and threw a bunch of crap around the room and it shouldn’t be my responsibility to clean it up. So I said fine. I came back to work a few hours later after little league practice and see Bob in the conference room. When he told me about the tantrum I just assumed there were papers everywhere and turned over file cabinets but I saw Bob actually cleaning human shit off of the walls and even in the lights.
Another shit story is when one kid was in the gym and reached into his ass and skipped a turd across the floor. I also did not clean that up.
Using the office as a stop on the pub crawl on a works night out without the boss knowing. Our office is right in the middle of town and a perfect location for a stop off between bars. Looked at my pictures the morning after (as I couldn’t remember) to find us having races on office chairs and dancing on tables. Thankfully we tidied up pretty well and no one was any wiser come Monday morning.
A guy jumped to his death in our atrium my 3rd week on the job. I work at a Fortune 500 company in healthcare IT development.
The craziest would have to be when a tiny mouse got loose in the call center. Seeing grown men and women lose their shit over something so small was hilarious. People climbed onto their desks. One guy took off his shoe an threw it at him. After a couple minutes I was able to catch the mouse and release him safely outside, but I’ll never forget the havoc a cute little mouse can cause.
One of my co-workers has occasionally walked around with his dick hanging out of the front of his pants.
I worked in a tech support call center for a while. One day a guy stood up in his cube and stabbed himself in the neck with a pencil or pen. We’re talking Red Wedding style stabbing. Right in the side of the neck. Blood, screaming, people standing/running everywhere. They cleared us out and called an ambulance. Apparently he lived but we never saw him again. Nobody had any idea why he did it.
Different job, years later, some lady was just diagnosed with cancer and jumped from the roof of our 10 story building. landed outside the front door, splattered blood all over the sidewalk and windows on the first floor.
I saw an old man’s balls come hanging out of his shorts. I work at a fast food restaurant.
Kicked a guy out of the bar I was working at for being belligerent and harassing people. He shows up an hour later with his dead German Shepherd in his arms screaming “LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO!!!”
Someone dumped their leftover meth making ingredients in the parking lot of a company I worked for. The bomb squad came out and detonated it.
Worked at a grocery warehouse and some fat dude shit in the floor to protest being turned down for a promotion. Did it twice on the warehouse floor (which is impressive considering there were 60 guys working at the same time) and once in the bathroom. Finally got fired after they found out who it was a couple of weeks later, but he did get three good shits in before they got him.
Our company had a little person working in the head office.
She got fired because she hid inside a paper recycle bin and scared some employees.
Worked at a dive bar for about a year ran by a coke head ex stripper and her on again off again pillhead boyfriend. They were crazy obsessed with them being the only ones handling open/closing, so it was a little out of the norm when she called me in to open on a Saturday.
I walk into the bar to find the pool table and various areas around it covered in blood stains, hair, and two broken pool sticks. There was a tooth on the bar. There was a fingernail on the bar. I called her, she didn’t answer but texts back “just clean everything up I’ll be in to do cash.” I walked the fuck out, called the cops, and she got arrested for attempted murder in a few days.
Male coworker was bit on the shoulder by female coworker after he told a dead baby joke a few days after she had a miscarriage that she lied about. The bite drew blood.
Lots of dead mice at Baskin Robbins – They got trapped underneath the sink
My coworker and I made a dry ice bomb in a coke liter bottle. We threw it over the building we work at thinking it would explode in the air. It didn’t. It landed in the parking lot behind the building and sounded like a bomb went off and all the car alarms went off. We even heard screams from inside the stores that surrounded us and people ran outside. It was awesome.
Years ago, the receptionist was complaining that someone was stealing food from her desk. She had quite a stash of goodies in one drawer. She raised such a fuss that a hidden security camera was installed on a day when she wasn’t there. She wasn’t told about it, but I don’t know how she could miss it though. A couple of days go by and she says someone stole from her desk again. A review of the video footage reveals she was the only one eating her food. I’m not sure if she didn’t remember eating it or was trying to get someone else in trouble. IMHO I think she was just nuts. The camera came down and everyone just started to avoid her. She ended up getting fired for using company email and postage for sales on her ebay account.
Ex-Drive thru McDonalds employee here. Lady in front car was taking too long. Guy behind her gets out of his car walks up to her car and punches her in the face. Gets back in his car. Charges were eventually filed against him.
A homeless person threatened to kill me because I wouldn’t give him a free cheeseburger. Then he shit on our floor. Twice.
KKK member came in and shot up the place after having to take diversity training with people of color.
A a couple years ago, I helped a friend get a job at the dog kennel I worked at. He was an okay guy, but he owed a lot of child support. After working a few weekends he got his check and was not happy with the amount. So instead of talking to the county or my boss himself, he had his dad come in and yell at my boss. We weren’t really friends after that.
One of my best friends sent his boss his own shit in a box as a mail package. Oh lord the look on his face when he opened it. Priceless
My friend works at the front desk of a hotel. A drunk teenager (17) stumbled in, obviously drunk off his ass, requested a Big Mac and a fry, and when he was told that they were a hotel he stumbled off into the parking lot, threw up everywhere, and then collapsed and the staff was forced to call the cops.
I once had a 70+ year old female janitor come up to me while I was working on a contracting job. She says “I have a tattoo of Minnie mouse, would ya like tuh see it?” Of course, I say no. She replies “That’s OK, cuz my pussy ate it.”
This summer I worked at Salvation Army. I worked the dock so I worked outside and handle donations and all that. All of the donations are put in huge cardboard gaylords. During one of our sales this guy in his late 40’s casually walks through the back area and outside. We ask him of he needs help and he just keeps walking around the side of the building. So we followed him and he was pissing on the Gaylord filled with kids toys. When he saw us he started yelling “I had to go!!”
I’m a waiter at a big chain restaurant and someone’s colostomy bag exploded mid-dinner shift. A literal bag of shit exploded.
Guy in accounting embezzled some money, got caught – fired & reported to the authorities. He turned up a couple of weeks later, looking for the CEO, intending to make him withdraw the police report. With a shotgun. Someone managed to calm him so luckily nothing happened. Guy ended up in a psych ward.
One of my old bosses, Mike, out of the blue “went on vacation” and came back as “Michelle”. He/she had gotten a sex change. The day he/she came back we were all called into a meeting where he/she explained his/her situation and said that anyone who made any remarks regarding his/her gender would be fired for sexual harassment. Total MINDFUCK.